Finding My Son, Finding Myself
by TriStateCopFan
Summary: This is the sequel to Friends, Cops and Robbers. Bobby reunites with his long lost, first love, the mother of his 11 yr. old son, who he never knew existed. STORY COMPLETE
1. Chapter 1

1**A/N: Unfortunately, I own no right, title or vested interest in or to Dick Wolf's LO:CI characters, but certain thank him for sharing.**

**For the Faithful Readers and Especially the Faithful Reviewers of "_Friends, Cops and Robbers,"_ Bammi1, 08CRC08, Shellster, HouAreYouToday, JNP, justawritier, lallyb1743, blucougar57 and Kurdt, who encouraged me to continue the saga, I give you the sequel:**

**Finding My Son, Finding Myself**

It was 7:30 Monday morning. As usual, Alex was picking Bobby up for the ride to work, double parked outside his apartment, waiting. A beat cop had sauntered over, ready to hit her with his attitude, as the front door to Bobby's building opened and he bounded down the stairs. He saw the patrolman heading towards the black SUV and hollered to him.

"Hey man, it's all right," he said, flashing his gold shield, "She's my ride."

The cop raised his hands, as if to motion he was "backing off," and yelled to Bobby, "Sorry 'bout that Detective – have a good day."

"You too," Bobby answered, as he climbed into the passenger seat and swung the door closed.

He smiled at Alex, chuckling "I think we just ruined his day."

Alex returned the smile, "You look pretty happy for a Monday morning! Have a good weekend?"

"Yeah it was good! You shouldn't have cut out of Carucci's so early on Friday night. A couple of Sanchez' friends came in at around 1:30 and we hung out for a while and went to play pool. I didn't get home 'til almost 4."

"You party animal you," she teased, giving him a sly glance. "I don't know about you, but I was exhausted on Friday. Anyway, if Sanchez' friends were anything like him, I don't think I could've taken it."

"What? He's a good guy!"

"If you say so," she said with a doubtful look. "He didn't drive home, did he?"

"Nah, one of his friends did."

"Well, anyway," Bobby continued, "I slept until around 12:30 Saturday afternoon, then spent a couple of hours at the new Barnes & Noble that just opened up down the street, then I got together with Lewis Saturday night – went to that new Thai place on 28th."

"Quite a busy social calendar," she joked. "You sure you have enough energy to work today?"

Bobby laughed, "Plenty. I stayed in all day yesterday and started reading through the stuff I bought on Saturday. I think the only time I got off the couch was to answer the door for the pizza guy."

"You had pizza without me?" she teased with a fake pout, as she turned into the parking garage with a screech.

"I –I I tried calling you. There was no answer. We should have maintenance check the air in the tires."

She looked at him, perplexed – it took her a moment to catch up to his disjointed thinking, but then automatically answered, "I was at my sister's for dinner. Lemme' pull it over there right now so Tommy can check 'em."

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Bobby and Alex exited the elevator at the 11th floor. They could hear the murmuring among the staff – all still buzzing about the events of Friday night, especially Bobby's heroics and Sanchez' aim. As he and Alex reached the end of the hallway leading to the squad room, all heads turned and several of the guys shouted their congratulations, "Way to go, Goren!", "Good job, Bobby," and "Nice goin', Goren!"

Bobby smiled, his head, as usual, tilted to one side, holding up his hands, saying "All right, all right...thanks, guys." Alex looked up at him, smiling. She knew his bashful side. Anyone who'd ever seen or been on the receiving end of one of his interrogations would never believe it, but this cocky-bordering-on-arrogant man had a huge shy streak when it came to certain things – and receiving accolades was one of them. To Alex, his humility was one of his most endearing qualities.

As they reached their respective desks, Alex tucked her purse away in her bottom drawer and, with a frown, surveyed the pile of files that was still left on her desk from Friday afternoon. "I'll get your coffee," she offered.

"Thanks," he said, while settling in and getting his desk organized for the workday ahead. He turned in his chair to look at Deakins' office –it was empty. Swiveling his chair around back towards his desk, he momentarily caught a glimpse of Det. Morris. The somber expression on Morris' face caught Bobby off guard – "Wasn't everyone just smiling and cheering a few minutes ago?" he thought to himself. Morris' eyes met Bobby's for a split second, but he just as quickly averted them and returned his attention to a file he was reading. Bobby thought to himself, "I'm gonna' go talk to Morris a little later – maybe he thinks I'm pissed off at him for not getting back to me with the info on Vasquez when I needed it Friday – yeah, that must be it."

He smiled up at Alex as she returned and placed his steaming hot mug of coffee on his blotter.

"Here ya' go," she said, adding on the extra warning, "Be careful – Johnston made it today!"

Bobby laughed as he reached for the stack of papers from is "IN" box.

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Morris sat across the room, hoping that his face wasn't giving away the anxiety he was feeling in his stomach. He glanced up every now and then, trying to steal glances at Bobby without being caught...again. It had been a terrible weekend for him, constantly wrestling with his conscience.

He had lain awake for good portions of the past three nights, battling with his decision; he couldn't fight the feeling that he was, somehow, "sabotaging" Bobby. At one point on Saturday, he had almost talked himself into coming back to the office and retrieving the "confidential" envelope from Bobby's desk. Bobby would be none the wiser and life, as he knew it, would go on without interruption.

But Morris couldn't do it. He stuck with his decision. Bobby had a right to know. "Hell," he had thought to himself, "If it was my kid, I'd wanna' know."

So, now, there was nothing he could do except wait for Bobby to open his top drawer and discover the envelope that would change his life forever.

END Chpt. One


	2. Chapter 2

1**Finding My Son, Finding Myself**

Chapter Two

About half an hour passed and Bobby rose, grabbing his coffee mug. "You want a refill?"

"No, thanks. I can't believe you actually want more of that stuff."

"It not so bad," he chuckled. "You've obviously never tasted Army coffee!" As Bobby took a step away from their desks, he heard Alex sigh.

"Something wrong?"

"No...it's just this darn thing is all dried out," she answered, holding up her yellow highlighter. "You have a spare one in your drawer?"

"I think so – help yourself," he offered, as he continued on his way to the coffee pots.

Alex walked around their desks and opened his top drawer. "Hmmm, what's this?" she asked herself, reaching in and removing the "confidential" envelope. She grabbed two highlighters and left the envelope on Bobby's desk. He returned with his freshly refilled mug and immediately spotted it.

"What's this?" He asked, looking around to see who had left it.

"I don't know," Alex replied. "I found it in your drawer when I got the markers."

Alex watched as Bobby picked up the envelope. He had a funny habit of examining envelopes before opening them, and it always brought a smile to her face as she watched. He would hold them up, turn them over –viewing them from all different angles, as if looking for some outward clue as to what the contents were.

"You'll find out quicker if you just open it," she teased, looking on.

Bobby removed the letter opener from his drawer and carefully slid it along the flap, unsealing the envelope. As he removed the contents, his brow furrowed. "It's, ummm, it's just the background on Vasquez that I asked Morris for last Friday," Bobby muttered to Alex, as he began reading.

Her eyebrows raised in characteristic fashion, "Why would Morris think that's confidential?"

Bobby shook his head, but gave no verbal response, as he continued reading. He had already turned a couple of pages and was totally delved in the records.

Alex continued with her own paperwork. She knew how Bobby got when he was reading or lost in thought — he'd "surface" soon enough and share any important details with her, but she thought to herself, "I don't see why he's even wasting his time reading it– the events of Friday night are over – Vasquez is dead, so what's it matter?"

Alex occasionally glanced up at Bobby, but kept on with her own work. She could sense a difference in the air – a tension that hadn't been there moments before. He was quiet, but shifting in his seat; she stole another glance – his head was tilted farther down, resting on his massive hands which were shielding not only his eyes, but practically his entire face, from her.

"Must be pretty interesting," she said, trying to bait him out of the intensity of his reading. She got no response.

She got that worried feeling in the pit of her stomach. She tried coaxing Bobby into conversation again. "Maybe the Captain decided to take his days off anyway, even if he didn't make it to Vegas– he wasn't due back 'til Wednesday, so I guess he's stayin' home with Cathy."

Again, no response.

She laid her marker down and stared across the desk at Bobby, hoping that he'd feel her gaze upon him and look up from his reading. Something caught her eye. A droplet of water had landed on the papers before him. Her first reaction was to look up at the ceiling, to see which pipe was leaking now, as she grumbled to herself about how long it would taken Maintenance to come fix it.

The screech of Bobby's chair along the tile floor startled her back to attention. He had shot up out of his seat, almost tipping his chair over. He saw the stunned, confused look on Alex's face but offered no explanation. He tried telling her "I've gotta' go," but the words barely came out, as he quickly scooped up the papers and bolted for the hallway.

It had all happened so quickly. It wasn't until she had seen his face that she realized the droplet wasn't from any leaky pipe. She called after him, "Bobby! What's wrong? Where are you going?" He disappeared down the hall, never turning back.

Morris had watched the scene from across the room. He let out a sigh, "Awww, shit...here we go," as he rose from his desk and crossed the squad room. Alex, too, had risen from her seat, ready to chase after Bobby. She didn't notice Morris approaching from behind and was startled by his whisper and the light touch on her shoulder; every eye in the squad room fixed on them; "I'll go after him."

Her head snapped around, her face full of question and concern, "What's wrong with him, Morris? If you know something, you'd better tell me."

"I'm gonna' go after him, Eames, and make sure he's all right." That was all he would offer. Morris bolted towards the hall elevators.

Alex was worried. And angry. She wondered what had gotten Bobby so upset. She knew that Morris knew – the envelope had come from him – and that pissed her off even more. She lowered back into her seat, still feeling conspicuous with all eyes upon her, as she shot an annoyed look over both of her shoulders; her co-workers clearly got the message and returned to their own work.

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Bobby was in the park, two blocks away from One PP and across the street from one of the cops' usual lunch spots. He didn't remember the walk there, or even why he went there. He was lost in the daze of conflicting emotions: anger, sorrow, regret, hurt, betrayal – and it was the latter that only led him back to anger. He crashed down onto the first empty bench he came upon and reached for his handkerchief and his cell phone, dialing while dabbing the tears from his eyes.

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Morris was almost frantic. He had given up on the slow, crowded elevator which was stopping on every floor and had taken the stairs from the seventh floor down. He burst through the door at the Lobby exit and quickly surveyed the area. "At least Bobby's height makes him easier to spot," he thought to himself. As he rushed through the front door, his cell phone rang. He grabbed it from his pocket, annoyed at the interruption, and flipped it open.

"Morris." There were a few seconds of silence.

"This is Morris."

"It's Goren. I'm in the park across the street from the Crossroads Grill. Meet me here– now."

xxxxxxxxx

Bobby flipped his phone closed. He picked up the envelope and read the documents again, letting the reality sink in. There they were: the facts, in black and white.

Bobby's mind began to wander, as he tried to compile and come to terms with his feelings. He was only mildly angry with Morris. He realized that Morris had been put in a difficult situation and Bobby, himself, didn't know how he would've handled it, had the shoe been on the other foot, so he decided to go easy on him when he arrived.

"But Maria Elena, how could she have done this to me?" he thought to himself. The sound of her name running through his mind made his stomach and heart ache. He was furious with her— because she had lied to him and deceived him.

"How could she have kept this from me for twelve years?"

Furious because she had cheated him out of a life that could have been.

"How could she not have told me. I know I was playin' Benny, but what we had was real. I would've married her – I would've done the right thing. How could she not have known that?"

Furious because her unilateral decision to keep Bobby away from his son had forced him, unknowingly and, certainly, unwillingly, into the role he despised more than anything: being an absentee father.

He wiped his eyes again and sat forward, his head resting in his hands, waiting for Morris to arrive.

"Don't worry, Roberto. Daddy's gonna' find you."

END Chapt. 2


	3. Chapter 3

1**A/N: Reviewers, Thank you! You've been great!**

**Finding My Son, Finding Myself**

Chapter Three

Morris immediately dialed from his phone as he walked towards the park.

"Major Case Squad, Detective Eames."

"Eames, it's Morris. Bobby just called me. I'm going to meet him and talk."

"I'm coming, too," she asserted. "Where is he?"

"Eames, I don't think that's a good idea just yet. Let me go see him – make sure he's all right, and I'll make sure he calls you."

"Do you want to tell me what the hell is going on, Morris?" she asked, not attempting to hide the annoyance in her voice.

"I'll have him call you, Alex. That's really all I can say. I, umm, I gotta' go."

Alex hung up the receiver, now more annoyed than worried. It angered her more that Morris knew what was eating at Bobby and she didn't — his own partner. She sat, pensively, tapping her pen on her blotter, too distracted by whatever was going on with Bobby to worry about the workload of files mounting on her desk. "What the hell was in that envelope?" she sighed, sinking back into her chair.

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Morris reached the wrought iron archway at the entrance to the park and looked down the path, spotting Bobby sitting on a bench about 100 feet away. He was prepared to get chewed out — and maybe he deserved it. As he approached the bench, he watched as Bobby quickly wiped his eyes and ran his fingers through his hair. Bobby said nothing as Morris sat down next to him. Morris didn't know what to say or do, so he simply asked, "You okay?"

"No, I don't think I am." He let out a heavy sigh. "You knew on Friday. Why didn't you tell me?"

Morris sat forward on the bench, wringing his hands, avoiding Bobby's eyes. "I thought I was doing the right thing, Bobby. When I talked to Eames Friday night, she told me that you were on your way into the bank – that sure wasn't the right time to lay something like this on ya' and, well...afterwards...oh geez, I know it sounds stupid, but...I didn't want to ruin your night."

Bobby shot him a sideways glare, which Morris ignored. He continued speaking. "I just figured that after all you went through Friday you deserved to be happy at the celebration afterwards. I saw you at Carucci's with Eames and Sanchez and I – I wanted you to have a good weekend." Morris sighed and rubbed his hands over his face. "I gotta' tell ya', Bobby, I lost plenty of sleep over this whole thing over the weekend. I almost changed my mind on Saturday – I was gonna' go to the office and take the damn envelope back outta' your desk so you'd have never known, but, I– I couldn't do it – I thought you had a right to know. I dunno' – maybe I was wrong, but I thought..."

Bobby interrupted, "It's okay, Morris – I-I'm glad you didn't do that. I'm glad I know now...a couple of more days doesn't really matter, anyway."

"I know it's a big shock for you, Bobby," he said, sympathetically.

"You haven't told anyone, have you?" Bobby asked.

"Nobody. Not even my wife. And I won't," he added solemnly.

Bobby nodded, "Thanks, Dave. I appreciate it."

"It's okay. I hope everything works out for you — I mean, whatever you're gonna' do."

The two men sat beside each other, silently, for a minute, until Bobby spoke. "I can't go back to work today."

"Well, you gotta' talk to Eames, Bobby. She's worried and I, umm, I promised her I'd have you call her — to let her know you're all right."

"I don't know what I'm gonna tell her."

"Just tell her the truth," Morris advised.

Bobby shook his head and shrugged his shoulders.

"Bobby...this is Eames we're talking about... you can talk to her...hell, she's been your partner for five years! C'mon, let me get you a cup of coffee or something across the street and we'll give Eames a call — she'll come and meet you, so you can talk."

Bobby sat, motionless, still unconvinced.

"C'mon Goren. You didn't do anything wrong — you're a victim here! How the hell could somebody keep a secret like that from a guy– that ain't right!"

Morris' irate approach wasn't working, so he decided to tone it down. "Maybe Eames can help, ya' know...talk to ya' from a woman's perspective."

Bobby grabbed the envelope beside him on the bench and reluctantly arose. Morris, in a show of support, walked alongside with his hand on Bobby's shoulder. They crossed the narrow street and entered the small diner, taking a table in the rear.

Morris held up his cell phone. "You want me to call her?"

"No," Bobby answered, grabbing his own phone from his left pocket. "I'll call her."

"You mind if I stick around 'til she gets here – keep ya' company?"

"I don't mind," Bobby said, indifferently, as he began dialing.

"I'm gonna' go to the counter and get us something. You want coffee or something cold?"

"Just some ice water — thanks." Bobby appreciated Morris' gesture at trying to afford him some privacy to make his call.

"Major Case Squad, Detective Eames."

"It– it's, me," Bobby said, softly.

"Hey you – what's goin' on?" Alex asked, forcing a calm and casual tone in her voice.

"C-can y-you c-come and m-meet me –umm, now?"

Bobby always stuttered more when he was excited or nervous. It didn't go undetected by Alex and her heart immediately went out to him, as she remembered his stories about how he had gotten teased in school. He had the uncanny ability, with merely the sound of his voice, to send her from "rage" to "maternal" in two seconds flat, and she hated him for it — and she loved him for it.

"Sure, where are you?"

"I'm with Morris at the Crossroads Grill."

"I'll be right there."

"Thanks," he barely whispered, closing his phone and putting it away.

Morris returned to the table with Bobby's water and a glass of orange juice for himself. "You get a hold of her?"

"Yeah," Bobby nodded, "She's on her way."

Morris tried, unsuccessfully, to keep Bobby distracted with idle chatter while they awaited Alex's arrival. The gaps of silence were uncomfortable and awkward. Morris was relieved when he saw the recognition in Bobby's eyes as Alex entered the diner and headed their way. He got up from the table, relinquishing his chair to Eames.

"Thanks, Morris."

The look in her eyes made Morris know that she wasn't just thanking him for the seat. He gave her a nod, "No problem. And Bobby – anything I can do, just let me know," he offered, as he turned and left, heading back to the office.

"You want some coffee or anything?" Bobby offered.

"What I want, is for you to tell what's going on," she said, sternly, "And why Morris knows more about it than I do!" Alex immediately felt bad for laying into him, as the image of his tear-streaked cheeks as he fled the office earlier flashed through her mind. She took a deep breath and relaxed.

"I'm sorry – just fill me in on what's going on and —and let me help you."

Bobby leaned back on his chair, his long arm and fingers slowing pushing the envelope across the table towards Alex.

"Ju-just read it...it'll be easier," he barely whispered.

He sat back, watching Alex as she removed the papers from the envelope and began reading– waiting for her reaction. He saw her usual expression – eyebrows knitted together as she concentrated and absorbed what she was reading. She turned the first page...then the second...and got to the third: time for the reaction. Her posture stiffened, her eyebrows raised in disbelief. She read it again– making sure her eyes weren't playing tricks on her. Her head raised and her eyes met Bobby's.

"Bobby, are you sure it's true?"

He held out his arm, palm up, as if gesturing, "You've seen it for yourself," and let out a heavy sigh. "I did the math."

Alex held the paper closer and read it again: "Birth Certificate...San Carlos General Hospital, San Juan, Puerto Rico...February 18, 1994...Mother's Name: Maria Elena Vasquez...Father's Name: Robert O. Goren...Child's Sex: Male; Child's Name: Roberto Carlos Vasquez..."

Bobby didn't blame her for taking the time to read and re-read. He had done so, himself, several times before it sank in. He gulped what was left of his ice water and just sat, watching as Alex turned another page and kept reading. Other than the obvious shock of it all, her face gave no indication as to what other things she was thinking or feeling.

Alex looked at Bobby for a second, then returned to the page before her, "...Time of Birth: 5:16 p.m. ...Weight: 7 Lbs. 9 Oz." She caught herself admiring out loud, "Cute little footprint." The sound of her own voice startled her. She returned her attention to Bobby and laid the papers back on the table.

"I can't even imagine what you're feeling...if it's true," Alex said.

Bobby snapped back at her, indignantly, "What do you mean, 'if it's true'? I told you I did the math – sh-sh-she named him after me and, 'Carlos,' ...that's her father's name."

Alex spoke calmly, "Look, Bobby, all I'm saying is that we have to be sure. Maybe she just liked the name and it's a coincidence!

Bobby fidgeted in his seat and leaned forwarded over the table. Alex knew her comment annoyed him but felt that she had to try to remain objective– if not skeptical. It seemed to her that Bobby was all too anxious for it to be true.

"The time line is no 'coincidence', Alex."

Alex slumped back in her chair and rolled her eyes. Bobby knew how she thought– she didn't have to say it, and Bobby answered her implied accusation without missing a beat.

"She wasn't with anyone else – she wasn't that kind of girl – w-w-we were in love," Bobby said, defending her.

Alex raised her eyebrows skeptically, but remained silent.

He banged his hand on the table, defending Maria Elena, "Don't think about her that way!" His voice softened, "Don-don't look at me that way." He paused, rubbing his hands over his face, "For Chrissakes, Eames, I remember the night he was conceived," his voice trailed off, embarrassed at the admission, wishing he hadn't said it.

And that's when Eames realized: This woman who Bobby had never before mentioned – because it hurt him too much – was the first real love of his life – the one who got away– the one who had broken his heart. "No wonder he's never been serious about anyone," she thought. "A guy get's his heart broken like that, he's not gonna' be in a rush to try again."

She looked at the pathetic figure across the table, now slumping in his seat.

"C'mon," Alex said.

"Where? Where are we going?"

"Back to my place, where we can talk in private. You're gonna' tell me everything...and I mean everything, and we're gonna' get to the bottom of this."

Bobby stood and grabbed the envelope from the table. His head had been spinning all morning, lost in the quandary of what to do. He loved it when Alex took charge.

END Chapt. Three


	4. Chapter 4

1Finding My Son, Finding Myself

Chapter Four

It was a quick walk back from the diner to the parking garage at One PP. Neither Bobby nor Alex spoke, but he did reach for her hand as they crossed the busy intersection at Park Row. The connection made him feel better. As they were hopping into the SUV, the mechanic, Tommy yelled to them, "Hey, don't let the tires get so low next time– it's not good for the tread."

"Thanks, Tommy!" Alex shouted back, her voice echoing in the cavernous cement structure.

Bobby was quiet during the drive. Alex knew that his mind must be racing and decided to leave him to his thoughts. She had the rest of the day to talk with him and swore to herself that she wasn't going to let him leave her apartment until she knew the whole story.

Bobby almost dreaded their arrival at the apartment – that meant that it was time for him to start talking. Alex opened the lock and as she and Bobby entered, he automatically went to the living and took off his suit jacket and loosened his tie.

"Make yourself comfortable," Alex had yelled from the kitchen. "Can I get ya' something?"

"No, thanks," he replied, exhaling a long breath.

She returned to the living room to find Bobby sitting in "his" spot – the end of the sofa he always seemed to gravitate to. She was carrying a glass of orange juice for each of them, even though he had declined the offer. He said "thanks" as she placed the glass on the table in front of him; the expression on his face so 'far away,' she wondered if he had even noticed her contradictory action.

She sat sideways on the couch, so as to face him, with one leg tucked under and reached for the envelope, once again examining the pages for mor information.

"Okay, I guess its just best if you start at the beginning — and try not to leave anything out. I wanna' understand how you ended up in a situation like this.

Bobby sat back, his elbow leaning on the arm rest, his head tilted to the right, resting on his fist. Alex could sense his anxiety.

"It's okay, Bobby. The hardest part of doing anything is getting started. She looked at him sympathetically, but the look was wasted, as he was staring forward and couldn't see the care in her eyes.

"You've been holding a lot of — things in for a long time. I guarantee you'll feel better, once you get 'em out."

He sighed heavily. "I jus– I don't wanna' — I get really upset thinking about it."

Alex reached for the box of Kleenex from the end table next to her and placed it on the sofa, next to Bobby. "It's all right to be upset; anybody would be. So, let's start at the beginning. How did you meet?"

Bobby swallowed hard and began:

"Umm, back in Narcotics in '92, up at the 114th in the Bronx. I was assigned to go under cover and infiltrate Vasquez' drug ring. He had other sources of income, too –– ties to a 'chop shop,' running numbers, that sorta' thing, but the drugs...that was the main thing. I worked my way in; eventually we got real close – he trusted me...started bringing me around his place, his parents' house, ya' know, for family parties, Holiday's, that kinda' thing. Umm, that's where I met Maria Elena – she still lived at home with her parents."

"How old was she?"

Bobby hesitated, almost mumbling out of embarrassment, "She, umm, she had just turned 22."

Alex eyebrows raised, but she remained silent.

"I was 33 at the time, but my cover was that I was 27, so, umm, her parents and Benny — they didn't worry too much about the age difference...wh-when I asked her out. She had to work right out of high school to help her family..."

Alex interrupted, "With all that drug money, he wasn't taking care of them?"

Bobby shook his head, "No...he was livin' large for himself...fancy apartment, tricked-out car, jewelry, clothes...always had a wad of hundreds. I actually asked him about that once and he got pissed off. I began to wonder if his parents refused his financial help 'cause they knew it was dirty money. Anyway, I backed off 'cause I couldn't offer an explanation as to why I'd care about it.

So, anyway, Maria Elena, she worked for a while and then enrolled in Bronx Community College – business courses, sh-she wanted to open her own business one day and help the family.

I was deep with Benny by then, like one of the family. On the nights I wasn't doin' a job with him, I spent all my time with her."

Alex looked at him with only a hint of admonishment, "You broke the cardinal rule in undercover — you got personally involved."

Bobby nodded, "I know, b-but..."

"That's okay, Bobby...what happened happened — go on."

"We dated for five or six months before it got serious."

" 'Serious' as in 'physical?'"

Bobby nodded, "All right," he admitted with some annoyance, "...before we slept together for the first time."

Alex softened her voice, "five or six months?" she repeated; "that must be a world record for you."

He looked at her, head tilted, eyebrows furrowed, his face revealing the disdain for her comment.

"I'm sorry. I was just trying to make you laugh – help you relax."

He was quiet.

"I'm sorry," she repeated, holding up her hand in a pledge, "No more wise ass remarks, I promise."

Bobby continued, his voice even lower than before. "It, umm, it was a really big step for her."

"It was her first time? She was a virgin?"

He nodded.

"She must have fallen hard for you... a young woman's first love."

"Yeah...well, it-it was mutual."

He sat, still facing forward, but Alex saw his eyes shift in her direction; he was trying to see her reaction – and the look on her face, the care for him that he saw in her eyes gave him the comfort to continue.

"The operation against Vasquez continued, but, I knew the end was sight. I started to worry 'cause I didn't know what I was gonna' do when Maria Elena found out. I was in love with her; I was spending more time with her than I was with Benny. The guys in Command noticed, but I convinced them that everything was cool — that I was just playin' her, then, umm, then Benny's birthday came around —umm, beginning of May... May of '93 and he planned himself this big birthday weekend — his whole crew –um, he took us down to Atlantic City...Maria Elena came along. By that time, Benny knew about us and he was actually pretty cool with it— he got us a room together."

Alex nodded.

"Benny was hittin' it hard at the tables – winning big. We couldn't drag him away, so, umm, I told him we'd meet up later and I was gonna' take Maria Elena out to dinner. We were almost at the end of our meal –at some fancy steak house at the Trump Taj Mahal — and this guy I knew, a Cop — comes over to the table and starts talking about how good it is to see me, and the old days in the Academy and how we worked together at the 86th when we first started and..."

"And that was the end of that," Alex interjected, shaking her head, "He blew it."

"Hold it, right there," she said, holding up her index finger; she picked up the phone and began dialing.

"Wh-who are you calling?" Bobby asked with surprise.

"V & T ...it's almost lunch time. Hi, Vinny, it's Alex. Can I get an order delivered?" She covered the receiver with her hand and asked Bobby, "You want the usual?"

"I'm not hungry," he said, shaking his head.

She ignored him, amused as she noticed the empty glass of OJ that he didn't want, either. "Thanks, Vin, I need a chicken parm hero and a side of tomato and mozzarella salad and I'll have the eggplant parm hero. Nope, that's it. Thanks."

She hung up the phone and turned back towards Bobby. "So, go ahead...your cover was blown...what did she do?"

"She got up and ran out," he said, now talking more like his old self, with the non-stop hands. "I thought she was running straight to Benny. I threw money on the table and went after her. When I caught up with her...she was really upset...crying. We went back to the room and I tried to get her to calm down...it–it would've been better if she were yelling at me — it would've been easier, but, she was just so...so hurt and crying. I told her I would tell her everything."

Alex nodded for him to continue.

"So, I told her...I told her I was cop...that it was a sting operation against Benny and his gang...what my real name was...and tha-that I was really 34."

"Must've been a pretty big shock – how did she react?"

Hands still flailing, Bobby answered, "She didn't care about any of it — all she wanted was the answer to one question."

Alex nodded and guessed, "If you were playin' her too — if it was all just an act, or if you really loved her?"

"I told her that...well, I told her — things and, and she believed me. And, it-it was amazing, you know, when she believed that I loved her she was so happy again – she didn't care about anything else – she was just happy to have me. Nobody had ever wanted me like that before...nobody ever just loved me and accepted me...and when she told me that she'd never tell Benny and endanger my life — that Benny deserved to be caught and punished — about how he'd been nothing for heartache for her parents since he was 15 years old and she wanted 'out,' she wanted better for her parents and herself — she chose me over her own brother – her own flesh and blood and...and..." Bobby voice grew even softer, "and it was the most beautiful night of my life, being loved like that."

"So, you got careless — and this is the price she makes you pay?"

Bobby shot an angry, 'how dare you?' glare at Alex.

"Saved by the bell," she said with a sigh of relief, as the doorbell chimed. "Lunch is here."

Bobby began to stand, reaching for his wallet. Alex already had her purse in hand, heading for door, "I've got it."

xxxxxx

She placed the packages down in the kitchen, calling to Bobby, "You wanna' eat at the table or in there?"

"I don't think I can eat, at all."

She ignored him, "We'll eat right on the couch." She served him his plate and a small bowl of the salad, then brought her own sandwich and placed it on the coffee table. When she reappeared from the kitchen, she was holding two glasses of wine. Bobby looked at her, eyebrows raised.

"What? A nice Italian meal deserves a glass of wine — it's not like we're going back to work — besides, it'll be good for you – calm your nerves."

While they ate, they took a break from Bobby's recount of the story. As he finished his last bite, wiping his mouth with his napkin, he laid back against the sofa and groaned, "I'm stuffed."

"And you didn't think you could eat... that'll be the day," Alex said, teasing him. "Hey, you have a pair of sweats here from the last time we went running together. Why don't you go get comfortable?"

"What are you gonna' do?" he asked, rising from the sofa and stretching. She smiled, holding up the two glasses, "I'm gonna' get us a refill."

xxxxxx

Alex sat in the living room, waiting for Bobby to return. He finally ambled in, looking tired. He was barefoot, in his Police-blue sweat pants and his undershirt.

"Hope you don't mind," he said, rubbing the back of his neck. "I'm too warm for the sweatshirt."

"Of course I don't mind. You comfy?"

He nodded affirmatively, "Uh-huh."

"Okay, so where were we? Oh, that's right...well, you can spare me those details."

Bobby continued. "It was about three weeks after that the raid went down. I could only speak with her briefly after it happened – to make sure she was okay and to see how her parents were taking it. I told her that it would be a good idea for us to play it cool for a while – ya' know, with the media all over their house — we decided it was best not to start any trouble or rumors, if anybody saw us together. She told me everything was gonna' be all right, that she loved me and that we'd be together soon — that I shouldn't feel bad because I was just doing my job and she was proud of me."

"Hold on," Alex instructed, "I just got an idea."

Bobby looked on, curiously, as Alex picked up the papers from the coffee table and dug into her purse, retrieving a small scrap of paper. She picked up the phone and began dialing.

"Who you calling now?"

Alex listened as the call began ringing, "Somebody that can help us get this investigation underway."

Bobby was perplexed.

"Darius, Hi, it's Alex. I'm good, how are you?"

Bobby watched, not having a clue what Alex as up to...or why she was calling Sanchez.

"Listen Dar, you think you can do me a little favor?

Bobby couldn't actually hear Sanchez' response, but from the way she was rolling her eyes and her facial expression, he could imagine that Sanchez was laying on his macho BS pretty thick.

"When you're down visiting your family, I was wondering if you can do a little reconnaissance for me. I need you to check out an address...nooo, nothing like that," she said with a giggle. "I just need ya' to drive by and see what you can see. I don't want ya' to make contact with anyone – don't let them see you watching — yeah, that sort of thing, if it's nice or run down, how many people are living there...men, women...kids," she said, with a glance at Bobby. "Then you can fill me in when you get back. Well, let's not make a dinner date just yet, handsome," she said, rolling her eyes again, but playing into his well-known ego. "That'll depend on how much information you bring back," she said with a phoney laugh.

Bobby sat back, always entertained by watching Alex in action. He knew she could 'play' on a perp, "But a fellow cop?" he thought to himself.

"Got a pen? Okay, here's the address: 1229 Calle Central, Dorado...yeah, that's what I figured...Dorado's just a little bit west of San Juan. Thanks, Dar – have a safe trip. Bye."

Alex hung up the phone, a self-satisfied grin on her face.

"I wouldn't encourage him," Bobby warned. "He likes you...he thinks you're a challenge."

"Don't worry...after he brings us back the information we need, I'll let him down gently."

"Yeah, I'll bet," Bobby scoffed, still looking a little confused.

"Sanchez," Alex said, waiving the scrap of paper, "He gave me his number when you went to the men's room Friday night. He's leaving for Puerto Rico tonight for a visit with his family. He won't be back for five days, but it might be a start."

"Thanks, Alex," Bobby softly said, and immediately stifled a yawn — a side effect of the stress he had been under all day and the second glass of wine.

"Why don't you go take a nap," Alex suggested.

His brows furrowed and he shook his head. "I've been enough trouble to you today – I should be going."

"You're not going anywhere, buster! I haven't heard everything yet. You're taking a nap and we'll finish this over dinner — or the rest of the night, if it takes that long."

Bobby knew better than to argue. A full explanation was the least he owed Alex. She was there, as always, to help him — and she was right: he felt better, even if only a little, after having talked about it. He headed for the bedroom without even asking. They had spent so many nights working late over the past five years that it was now automatic: Bobby got the bed and Alex took the couch – due, only, to their respective sizes and the comfort factor.

xxxxxxx

As Bobby slept, Alex, once again, perused the file, then went to the kitchen to see what she had in the freezer to make for dinner. As she stood in the kitchen, something–she didn't know what– compelled her to go to the bedroom, just to look in on Bobby. He had just lain down on top of the comforter, curled on his side. She could tell from his breathing that he was asleep, but still had a troubled look on his face. "He's probably having a bad dream," she thought to herself. She took a blanket from the closet and gently laid it over him, so as not to disturb him. He did sense it, though, and her heart warmed as she watched him snuggle down into its soft comfort as she tucked him in – as a child does as bedtime.

She stood over the bed and watched him for a moment longer, thinking to herself, "I hope it's true, Bobby...you could be such a good father."

END Chapter Four


	5. Chapter 5

1**Finding My Son, Finding Myself**

**Chapter Five**

Bobby awoke from his nap, forcing one eyelid open to check the clock on the night stand; it was 5:10 p.m. – he had been sleeping for almost three hours. The awareness that consciousness brings slowly overtook him. Alex had, obviously, checked on him at some point, covering him with the cozy, blue blanket under which he remained snuggled. He laid motionless, allowing his eyes to slowly adjust to the afternoon sunlight filtering through the blinds. It reflected off her dresser mirror, onto the wall, in a colorful prism. The sight instantly brought back the memory of Maria Elena. After their night of passion twelve years earlier, they had awakened to find a similar rainbow of color dancing on the wall of their hotel room; the result of the sun reflecting off the pool water outside their room. She told him that seeing a rainbow was good luck – that it was a sign of their beautiful life to come. The emotional escape afforded by his sleep was gone; the pain of reality and his loss was back – almost palpable – knotting his stomach and breaking his heart. He laid, staring at the prism, as the tears rolled from his eyes onto the pillow.

Alex appeared in the doorway some twenty minutes later. Bobby quickly wiped his eyes and was glad for the twilight dimness of the room. He hoped that Alex wouldn't flip on the light switch, revealing the redness of his teary eyes.

"You awake?" she quietly asked.

He turned, rubbing his hands over his face, "Yeah, I umm, I just woke up," he lied.

"How're you feeling?"

"Okay," he lied a second time.

"Well, feel free to join me in the kitchen, if you like. I'm making stuffed pork chops for dinner."

"I will – I'll just freshen up and I'll, I'll be right there."

Alex swung the dishtowel over her shoulder and headed back to the kitchen, thinking to herself, "Poor baby – I wonder how long he's been laying there crying." Nothing got by her.

xxxxxxxx

Bobby entered the kitchen and snatched a piece of cucumber from the bowl of salad that Alex had on the counter top. He was now wearing his sweatshirt, having gotten a chill when coming out from under the warmth of the blanket.

Alex turned to him, "You mind melting this butter in the saucepan for me?" she asked, pretending not to notice the telltale signs of his emotional upset.

"I don't mind, what's it for?"

"The stuffing," she answered. "Try not to burn it," she teased him, as she exited the kitchen, "I'll be right back."

Alex returned to find Bobby dutifully stirring the pot. "I'll take over," she said, handing him a pair of tube socks, "put these on, you'll feel warmer."

"Thanks."

"So," Alex said, "You wanna' pick up where you left off?"

Bobby sighed, "I, I don't really feel like talking any more today, Eames."

"Well, keeping it in all this time hasn't helped, has it? Talking makes you feel better," Alex said, trying her best to convince him.

Bobby stood leaning against the counter, silently chewing the olives he had now picked out of the salad. Alex couldn't tell if he just taking a moment to think before he spoke, or if he wasn't going to answer, at all.

"Well, I'm not gonna' pester you, Bobby. If you really don't want to talk, that's up to you. I'm just trying to understand how it got to this point – how did you lose touch with her? Was there a big blow up? A fight? Something like that?"

He knew Alex's persistence and, as usual, it was going to pay off for her. "No," he sighed, "Nothing like that – it was – – it was nothing."

Alex had moved on to preparing the potatoes. "She just vanished?"

"I guess you're not gonna' take 'no' for an answer, are you?" Bobby asked, getting his hand slapped in the process of reaching for a cherry tomato.

"You're gonna' spoil your dinner if you keep picking – and no, I'm not," Alex smiled.

Bobby grabbed a kitchen chair, as usual, turning it backwards so he could straddle it. "Well," he began, "It's like I told you, we were cooling things off for a while – just until all the media attention from the bust cooled down. One day, I tried calling her and got no answer. The next day, I tried and a recording came on saying that the number had been disconnected at the customer's request."

Alex shot him a glance.

"I figured maybe the family was getting a lot of phone calls from reporters, or something, s-s-so I drove over to see her. The house was dark. I saw their neighbor, umm, Mrs. Ruiz, I think, walking her dog, so I got out of the car and asked her if she'd seen Maria Elena or her parents and, it-it-it was strange – – it was like she didn't want to talk to me– like she was afraid to be seen talking to me – so I, I left."

Alex continued preparing their dinner and, while the pork chops were in the oven cooking, she and Bobby retreated to the living room to continue their talk. He told her about his futile efforts to track down Maria Elena; how his inquiries to her nearby relatives – the ones he knew of, anyway, fell on deaf ears; how he had hoped that the family had left a forwarding address on file with the post office and written her countless letters – all of which were ultimately returned as "undeliverable."

Alex listened intently and sympathetically but, in the end, she was just as perplexed as Bobby as to what it was that actually drove Maria Elena away. "I'm thinking it's gotta' have something to do with her parents, Bobby," Alex offered. "Maybe she told them the truth about the two of you– maybe they didn't approve of the age difference – maybe they were angry that you were the one who brought their son down – I dunno' - it could be a dozen different things, I suppose."

Bobby threw up his hands in exasperation, "I don't know – I just don't know."

"I don't know, either, Bobby," Alex said, shaking her head remorsefully. "I mean, not wanting to see you is one thing, but hiding a pregnancy from you – not to mention never telling you about a child you've had for eleven years...it doesn't make sense...that's the type of thing a woman would tell a guy – even if only to get money for child support."

Bobby spoke, seeming to follow his own train of thought, as if he didn't hear a word that Alex had said. "She never had my real home phone number or address – that would've been too risky during the final weeks of the operation. And as soon as the bust went down, my ghost phone and decoy apartment were shut down."

At that moment, the buzzer of the over timer sounded. "Dinner's ready," Alex announced.

They got up from the couch and, before going to the kitchen to fix their plates, Alex crossed the room, going to the wall unit, and turned on the stereo. "No more talking about this while we eat, okay?" Bobby asked.

"Okay."

They ate in relative silence, except for Bobby's complimenting Alex on the stuffing and glazed carrots. Alex finally broke the silence by announcing, "I forgot to tell you – Captain Deakins called this afternoon."

"What did he want?" Bobby asked, placing his fork down.

"Nothing, really. He said he called the office and Morris told him that you and I were out, so he called my cell."

"What did you tell him?"

"Oh, I just stretched the truth a bit – told him that you and I were still a little wiped out from Friday night and the weekend and that we decided to bring some files here and work on 'em."

"He was okay with that?" Bobby asked, with slight disbelief.

"For you?" Alex answered teasingly, "After last Friday, I think you've got the lifetime 'teacher's pet' award."

Bobby smiled and nodded. She saw the shift in his mood and decided to take advantage, with one more question.

"Hey, Bobby? Have you thought about, well – what if she's married? What if Roberto has a father figure in his life? What if she had other children with her husband? I mean, you can't just go down there and show up on her doorstep after all these years to claim your son."

The look on his face told Alex that his mood had shifted back to the dark side. With a controlled anger, he gently placed his utensils on the edges of his plate. He pushed back his chair from the table and, in a seething whisper, threatened: "Watch me."

He stormed towards the bedroom – Alex guessed to retrieve his clothes and head home. She jumped up from the table after him.

"Bobby! Come back here! Don't be like that!" She had caught up to him, tugging on the back of his sweatshirt. He spun around.

"Who's side are you ON?" he yelled.

"I'm on your side! — As always!" She reminded him.

He stood there, silent; his chest heaving –nostrils flaring from angry breaths. He suddenly felt foolish – embarrassed by his idle threat and outburst. Alex's head tilted to one side, a softness overtaking her face as she looked up at him. She reached for his hand. "C'mon," she said, leading him back to the center of the room. He followed, not quite sure what she was doing. When they had walked far enough, she spun towards him, one hand still holding his – the other now on his shoulder. She began to sway to the music, her smile encouraging him to do the same. He hadn't even been aware of the music in the background until that second – – and when he stopped to listen, comfort overtook his heart, as he pulled her closer and began to dance with her.

"_...So, if you're mad, get mad,_

_don't hold it all inside_

_come on and talk to me, now._

_Hey, what you got to hide?_

_I get angry too,_

_well, I'm a lot like you._

_When you're standing at the crossroads_

_and don't know which path to choose, _

_let me come along_

_cause even if you're wrong:_

_I'll stand by you,_

_I'll stand by you_

_won't let nobody hurt you_

_I'll stand by you,_

_Take me in-to your darkest hour_

_and I'll never desert you_

_I'll stand by you..."_

xxxxxxxxxxx

**Thursday, 8:30 a.m.**

**1229 Calle Central**

**Dorado, Puerto Rico**

It was Sanchez' third visit to the address. He had gone on Tuesday and Wednesday afternoons, and, upon awaking today, decided he'd check out the morning routine.

He sat in a car across the street from the sun-bleached, well maintained white stucco home and took notes. He didn't want to disappoint Alex upon his return but, if truth be told, nothing too exciting was going on here.

His notes, so far, included mention of an older man and woman –grandparent types, who stayed home, keeping themselves busy with gardening or a stroll on the nearby beach. Apparently, they looked after a boy who, Sanchez assumed, was their grandson. The woman in her early-to-mid-thirties – who he also noted was absolutely gorgeous, appeared to be the mother of the boy. She was leaving the house now, apparently in a rush to get to work. He made a notation on his pad of her description, as well as the make, model and license plate of the car she drove.

"And here comes the kid with the curly hair again," Sanchez said to himself. He watched as the boy stepped off the porch; one arm full; the other hand carrying a glass of lemonade. He picked a shady spot under a small tree on the lawn and sat down. Sanchez continued making notes, guessing that the boy was about 13 – "Unless he's younger and just tall for his age," he thought to himself. Sanchez shook his head, "Poor kid, he must be bored off his ass...my third time here and all he ever does is have his nose stuck in a book."

He started the engine and drove off; "Man, this is a waste of time."

END Chapter Five

**A/N**: Big "thanks," as always, to the Reviewers.

Musical Credit: **The Pretenders, _"I'll Stand By You"_**


	6. Chapter 6

1**Finding My Son, Finding Myself**

**Chapter Six**

It was Thursday afternoon. Bobby and Alex had just returned from lunch and settled back in at their desks. Alex had been keeping an eye on Bobby all week. Aside from his outburst on Monday night, he had managed to keep his emotions "in check," – outwardly, at least. Alex knew that on the inside, he was a wreck and cautioned him a couple of times about keeping his feelings bottled up.

She looked up from the file she was working on to catch a glimpse of Capt. Deakins standing in his doorway. A slight tilt of his head beckoned Alex to his office. She scooped up some papers from her desk, arose from her chair and announced, "I almost forgot, I've gotta' get these into the Captain – he has a two o'clock status conference." She headed towards Deakins' office.

Bobby merely nodded, staring that the papers in front of him.

"Close the door, Alex." She did so and took a seat.

The Captain sat forward, hands folded on his desk. "What's going on," he asked, motioning his head in Bobby's direction.

"I don't know what you mean."

"Bobby. What's wrong with him?"

"Oh, he's okay. I think he's just a little preoccupied this week."

He looked at Alex skeptically. "You're sure that's it? 'Cause something seems to be bothering him. I thought maybe he was just in a bad mood yesterday, but he's the same today. He hasn't told you anything...specific?"

Alex raised her eyebrows and shook her head in the negative.

Deakins leaned back into his chair; his hand rubbed his chin for a moment, and a sly grin emerged on his lips. "I appreciate the position you're in, Alex. You want to be loyal to Bobby..." He paused, looking her in the eye, waiting for a reaction. There was none.

"Okay," he said, holding up his hands, "But if you find out something, lemme' know, huh? If there's anything I can do to help."

Alex nodded, stood and headed for the door. A few seconds passed after she returned to her desk. She busied herself, pretending to be engrossed in a file. Avoiding looking up at Bobby, so that the Captain wouldn't see, she softly said, "Deakins was just fishin' for information. He's worried about you."

"What'd you say?"

"Nothing...just that you were a little preoccupied...no details."

"Thanks." Bobby took great comfort in the trust he shared with Eames. He knew when she got up from her desk that Deakins had no two o'clock status conference – she had said that for the Captain's benefit–so he would think that Alex was covering for him when he motioned her into his office for the private chat.

They worked quietly for another ten or fifteen minutes, until Bobby spoke. "Eames? You have plans tonight?"

"Uh-uh," she shook her head – "Unless Ben & Jerry count," she laughed.

"I, umm, I need to talk," he was almost too embarrassed to say.

"Carucci's, after work?" she asked.

"No, it's umm, it's too noisy...too many people we know. I was thinkin' The Newbridge Inn."

Alex knew the place. Secluded. Quiet. An excellent place to share secrets – and the food was fabulous, too.

"Sounds good! You buyin'?" She said with a smile.

He nodded, with a hint of a smile in return, "It's the least I can do."

"Well, it's a date, then."

xxxxxxxxx

They arrived at the small, riverside restaurant at almost 7 p.m. There was one other car in the lot. Perfect.

Upon entering, the tuxedo-clad Maitre d' smiled pleasantly at the couple, "Good evening!" He lowered is voice, "Detective Goren, it's been a long time. Table for two?"

"Hello, Franco. Yes, it has been," Bobby answered, shaking the hand of the amiable man. "Yes, two, please – non-smoking."

They were shown to a secluded, candle lit table. "Carlos will be with you, right away," Franco assured, and politely retreated.

Alex looked around, surveying the place. "I thought you said you wanted to go somewhere private, where nobody would recognize us?"

Bobby nodded, "We don't have to worry about Franco and his staff. If they weren't so good about keeping their mouths shut, they could write a book about the stuff they've seen and overheard in here."

After placing their drink and food orders, Alex settled back in her chair and asked Bobby, "So, what'cha wanna' talk about?"

He took a sip of his water – he appeared nervous. "I, I have so many things running through my mind, I don't know where to start," he said, shaking his head.

"It's hard being patient, waiting for Sanchez to get back...but Saturday's almost here," she reassured him.

"Wh-what you said the other night...a-a-about Roberto having a father figure..."

"I only meant..." Alex began to explain.

Bobby held up his hand, "I know...I know what you meant." He sighed. "Believe me, Eames, the last thing I wanna' do is upset him — I mean, who knows what he's been through ...what he's been thinking all these years."

Alex took a sip of her recently-served wine, bracing herself. "If she married, ya' know, when he was a baby – or young– he might not even know that this other guy isn't his real father...so maybe he hasn't been through anything traumatic. Maybe he's had a good life...maybe he's happy."

I-I've thought about all that. I-I'm not gonna' — 'torpedo' her happy family — I'm not gonna' do anything mean or, or, or crazy — I wouldn't hurt him for anything!"

"I know you wouldn't, Bobby. I just don't want you to get your hopes up that..."

"I'm not getting my hopes up. I'm just saying that – that no matter what Sanchez finds out or doesn't find out, I've still gotta' get in contact with her. She robbed me of being part of his life! I've got a legal and moral responsibility to take care of him –provide for him, and I've also got a legal entitlement to the enjoyment of being a father!"

Alex took another sip, looking at him sympathetically.

"B-besides," he said, looking even more serious than before, eyes downcast. "She doesn't know ya' know, everything about me...about my family history."

Alex's eyes widened. "You, umm, you never told her about your mother?"

He shook his head, "No."

"I'm sure he'll be fine, Bobby."

"I appreciate your trying to make me feel better. I just can't stop thinking about him— about them. I mean, my mind just jumps from one thought to another an,an, and nothing's getting resolved. It just makes me crazy, ya' know? Knowing he's out there – I just wanna' see him and – and I'm afraid to see him."

Alex nodded. "I know. You have no way of knowing how he'll react."

"How will he ever believe that I love him if I haven't even been there for him his whole life?"

"I don't think that explaining it is your problem, Bobby. His mother has to take responsibility for that. She's certainly not without fault in this whole mess."

They each picked at their salads, silent for a few moments.

"You look exhausted," Alex said with concern. "I think maybe the Captain noticed that."

Bobby nodded, "I am...I just toss and turn and lay awake all night — thinking. I think the last real sleep I got was at your place on Monday afternoon.

"Well, you can crash at my place again, if you want to. Maybe it'll help ya' sleep better – ya' know, not feeling like your alone," Alex offered.

"Maybe I will – thanks. I don't think I can make it through another day feeling this tired."

xxxxxxxxx

**Thursday, 9:15 p.m.**

**1229 Calle Central**

**Dorado, Puerto Rico**

Sanchez had been out for a drive after dinner. He decided to stop by the address and see if anything more exciting went on during the night hours. The two afternoons and the morning he observed hadn't revealed much and the thought of having nothing worthwhile to report back to Alex disappointed him.

He sat in the dark sedan, running through his checklist: "Looks like everybody's home — the old folks' car is in the driveway...sexy lady's car in the driveway...lights on." Sanchez watched as the man stood by the window and closed the drapes. "Well, I guess I won't be seeing anything happening in that room." He continued watching, the pretty lady and the boy walked past the kitchen windows— "Kinda' looked like they were in a hurry," he thought to himself. The lights went out. Sanchez checked his watch, "9:15? Shit, they're a barrel of fun," he said to himself with amusement. He shifted in his seat, reaching forward to turn the ignition. He didn't notice the dark figures approaching from the rear bumper.

"Police! Freeze!"

Sanchez was totally caught off guard and did as he was told – his hands frozen on the steering wheel. The glare of the flashlights blinded him momentarily, but he had no problem seeing the 9mm Glock pointed at his head.

"Keep your hands right there where we can see 'em. I'm gonna' open the door and I want you to slowly exit the vehicle and back up..."

Sanchez made a point to keep his voice calm. "Officers, I know the routine. I'm a cop."

The Officers traded a quick glance. "We'll see about that in a minute. Just keep doing what you're told."

Sanchez exited the car, slowly backing up towards the trunk. He spread his feet and leaned forward, over the rear fender, availing himself for frisking.

One cop patted him down, while the other kept Sanchez in his sight, weapon aimed. The cop retrieved Sanchez' wallet and flipped it open to check for ID. He read aloud, "Darius O. Sanchez, PBA card - NYPD ID. "Where's your badge?"

"Home on the dresser. I'm here on vacation – visiting my family."

"Turn around. Your family live here in this house?" the Officer tested him, pointing at No. 1229.

"No, sir."

"You mind tellin' us what you're doing here, then?"

"I'm...I'm doin' a favor for a friend. They just asked me to check out the house – that's all."

"Who's this so-called friend? One of Benny Vasquez' henchmen?

Sanchez almost laughed. "Benny Vasquez? Is that what this is about?

The Officers traded a glance, surprised at Sanchez' recognition and reaction to the name.

"I just wasted Benny last week, man. He was pullin' a bank heist in Manhattan...killed three or four people...I'm on the S.W.A.T. team man, I'm a sniper...I capped Benny last Friday night."

The Officers seemed to finally relax. One turned to the other and said, "You wanna' go tell the family it's all right." The other cop nodded and headed to the front door of #1229.

The cop who remained behind explained to Sanchez, "The family called in – they noticed you and your car sitting out here the past couple of days – and then they saw you again tonight, here in the dark – they thought they were in danger from Vasquez.

Sanchez grinned, "They don't have to worry about him no more."

xxxxxxxx

The Officer who went to the door explained to the family that they didn't have to worry. He relayed Sanchez' story about Benny being killed during an attempted bank robbery the week before, and that although they still weren't certain of the man's reason for being there, they knew it wasn't to do any harm to the family – he was a New York City Policeman.

Maria Elena's parents looked at each other, their faces full surprise. Suddenly, Roberto yelled, "Mommy! Where are you going?" The grandparents held the squirming boy back from following is mother. They hadn't even noticed when Maria Elena darted past them through the front door, running barefoot across the lawn towards the Officer and the man who were standing by the dark sedan.

They only heard her calling, "Bobby! Bobby! You came for us!"

END Chapter Six


	7. Chapter 7

1**Finding My Son, Finding Myself**

**Chapter Seven**

Bobby opened the car door for Alex. "Thanks," she said, "And thanks for dinner, too."

"You're welcome."

As he climbed in, she said, "We'll swing by your place so you can pick up clothes for tomorrow."

He merely nodded, as they began their drive downtown.

"Can I ask you something, Bobby?"

"Sure."

"This is why you never got serious with anyone? Never married? You've never really given up believing that you'd find her again some day — you still love her." Alex took her eyes off the road for a split second, trying to steal a glance at Bobby's reaction.

Bobby sighed, deeply, staring straight ahead. "I thought you didn't want me to go gettin' my hopes up?"

That was all he said. She had her answer.

**9:35 p.m.**

**1229 Calle Central**

**Dorado, Puerto Rico**

Maria Elena stopped dead in her tracks about ten feet away from the two men. She was now close enough to see through the darkness and realized that the man standing next to the cop wasn't Bobby. She stood there, staring at them, taking quick gasps of air. "I'm sorry – I thought you were someone else," she apologized.

Sanchez looked at her, making a quick assessment: barefoot, in jeans and tee-shirt that fit just right–all over – long brown hair, beautiful full lips and eyes like he had never before seen —a brown so light, it bordered on gold. He thought she was gorgeous from afar but, now, with the moonlight reflecting in her eyes and illuminating the angles of her face, she was absolutely beautiful. He caught himself staring a second or two too long and snapped himself back.

The uniformed officer turned to her. "Everything's all right, Ms. Vasquez." The Officer was still speaking, but Sanchez had tuned him out, once again lost in is own thoughts. And then it clicked. Everything made sense. "Ms. Vasquez," he repeated to himself. And he remembered Friday night in the MCU, reading the rap sheets and the file on Benny Vasquez, and his words to Schultz and Marino came back to haunt him, "...he was bangin' Benny's little sister." He shook his head, as an even deeper realization struck: "...the kid...tall...with the curly hair...those piercing but sad brown eyes...ho–ly shit...that's why Alex wanted me to check the place out...it wasn't for her... it was for Bobby."

But Sanchez also remembered Alex's instructions not to make contact with anyone. He decided his best course of action would be to get away from the Vasquez house–now– and then call Alex and fill her in on everything that just happened.

"Excuse me, Officer – if everything's cool, I gotta' get goin'."

The Officer nodded and Sanchez hopped in the car. As he turned the ignition, the noise of the engine almost drowned out the woman's voice as she called after him, "...Wait...mister...do you know a policeman named Rober—?" Sanchez sped off, leaving the woman standing in the middle of the street.

Simultaneously, in NYC

Bobby had just made a quick trip up to his apartment, grabbing fresh underclothes and a suit, shirt and tie for the next day. He locked up and bounded back down the stairs, hopping back into the SUV with Alex.

"You feel like stopping by Carucci's for a drink now?" she asked.

He shook his head, "I'm pretty tired. You have any wine left at your place?"

"Sorry, I wasn't thinking...sure, wine...or something else. We can have a quick nightcap and get you tucked in, early. Hopefully, you'll be able to sleep."

"Thanks, Eames."

They arrived back at Eames' apartment and got settled in, both of them comfy in their sweats. Alex was in the kitchen, pouring their drinks — there was no wine left, so she opted for iced tea – Bobby for scotch 'n soda. He settled back on the sofa and switched on the TV. As she joined him in the living room and served his drink, they heard the muffled ringing of the cell phone in her purse. Their first shared thought was, "I hope we're not getting called in." They weren't expecting to hear from Sanchez until Saturday.

Bobby sat by, watching, as Eames flipped the phone open. "Eames." Her eyes shot at Bobby, "Darius, I didn't expect to hear from you so soon."

Bobby bolted upright, wondering why Sanchez was calling, and continued his one-sided listening to the conversation. "Really? Well, now we know why you're in S.W.A.T. – I guess surveillance isn't your forte," she said to him, 'rubbing it in.' That comment roused Bobby's curiosity even more.

"So, then what happened? Uh-huh...uh-huh...right...no! Of course I'm not doing this behind Bobby's back, he's right here!

Bobby was beside himself with impatience; hands wringing, eyes rolling, frustrated sighing. I wanted to know what Sanchez was saying; he could barely restrain himself from snatching the phone from Alex's hand.

"Are you kidding me?" Alex continued – Bobby noticed the huge grin on her face. "Um, thanks, Dar — I may need to call you back in a bit, but, thanks. Maybe it's a good thing you got caught – we ended up finding out a lot more than we hoped for. Yeah, yeah...I remember the deal...dinner when you get back. Okay, bye."

Alex ended the call and sat next to Bobby, "Well..." she began...

Simultaneously in Dorado, P.R.

"Let me walk you back to your door, ma'am," the Officer said.

Maria Elena numbly walked alongside the Officer, blinking her eyes clear of the tears which had accumulated and now freely rolled down her cheeks. Her parents and Roberto stood by the open front door, watching her slowly ascend the porch steps— each step was an effort; she was tired and drained.

Her parents looked at her, their eyes full of compassion for their daughter – and regret. Roberto ran into her arms and she hugged him and pet his hair, as he laid his head over her heart...her heart that she thought couldn't break any further...until she heard her boy's soft voice, "It wasn't Daddy coming for us, was it?"

"No sweetheart," she comforted him, "Not yet..."

Simultaneously in NYC

"...which part would you like to hear first?"

(Bobby fidgeted – he was in no mood for games, but Alex was having such fun being the bearer of good news to her long-suffering, tormented partner and friend, she couldn't help but drag it out and enjoy every second)

"...the part about Sanchez' shitty surveillance techniques and blowing his cover? Or...the part about the tall, lanky boy with the curly hair and the big brown eyes?" She said with a ever-growing smile.

She watched the look on Bobby's face – it was priceless – he was beaming like a proud father, "Or," she continued, "the part about the beautiful woman running barefoot across the lawn, in the moonlight, yelling 'Bobby, you've come back for us!' "

Bobby sat – frozen, stunned. He couldn't believe it was happening. He couldn't absorb the wonderfulness of it all. He leaned forward with a heavy sigh, burying his face in his hands and couldn't control the sobbing – from relief and happiness –and the disbelief of his good fortune.

Alex saddled up next to him, placing her arm around his shoulders with a squeeze and rubbed his back.

"After all this aggravation, those better be happy tears, buster." He didn't say anything, but she heard his soft chuckle and felt the quiver of his laughter under her hand.

"C'mon, tough guy," she said, as she arose from the couch.

He rubbed his hands over his face and looked up at her. "Wh-where are we going?"

"Back to your place so you can pack," she said matter-of-factly. "I am taking you to the airport, aren't I?"

She didn't have to offer twice.

END Chapter Seven


	8. Chapter 8

1**_Finding My Son, Finding Myself_**

**Chapter Eight**

1229 Calle Central

Dorado, Puerto Rico

Carlos Vasquez ushered his family from the doorway into the living room, momentarily torn between the choice of who to console: his wife, who, like he, had just learned of the death of their son, Benjamin, or his daughter and grandson, who had just had their hearts and hopes shattered, once again. He went to his wife's side, having decided that at least Maria Elena and Roberto had each other.

Carlos hugged his sobbing wife close and kissed her head. "It's okay, Rosa. I know it still hurts."

She looked up at her husband with tear-filled eyes. "I thought that I was prepared for this...for news like this...we knew he would come to a bad ending, but..." She leaned into her husband's chest, the mournful sobbing overtaking her voice."

Maria Elena and Roberto looked on, he, still in his mother's embrace, though their own tears had subsided.

Carlos continued comforting his wife, "Shhh-shhh, it's all right." Inwardly, Carlos wasn't half as upset. He knew that Rosa somehow blamed herself for the way Benjamin and turned out, but as for himself, he was stronger and, maybe, just more hardened by life. He had known that Benny was trouble from the time he was 15 years old — and the older he got, the more trouble he became. As far as he was concerned, Benny hadn't been a real son to him for a long, long time. He was a disgrace to the family; especially after the events of twelve years earlier, he considered Benny "dead" to him. And, over the years, whenever a pang of guilt managed to hit him for feeling that way, all he had to do to remedy it was to look at the face of his grandson– sweet and innocent– 'Berto was his pride and joy. If Benny's plan had worked 12 years ago, Roberto would never have been born. No, Carlos wasn't upset, at all. If anything, he was relieved.

Maria Elena and Roberto walked to the living room, joining Carlos in a 'family hug' with Rosa.

"C'mon," Carlos urged, "It's been a rough night. Let's all go get some rest." They said their 'good-nights' and, as Carlos went through his usual routine of making sure all the windows and doors were locked, Rosa headed for their bedroom and Maria Elena walked Roberto to his room.

"You get your pj's on and brush your teeth. I'll come back to tuck you in, okay?"

"And say our prayers," Roberto reminded her.

"Yes," she said, smiling, "And to say our prayers."

Carlos had joined Rosa in bed. She snuggled closer as he put his arm around her. A long, deep sigh escaped her lips.

"You okay?" he asked.

"I will be," she answered. "What do you think about everything else that went on here tonight?"

"Oh, our visitor?" he answered her question with a question. "It was nothing. The Police said he was cop from New York — maybe they sent him to notify us about Benjamin."

"I don't think so," Rosa skeptically answered.

"Why's that?"

"Because you spotted him in his car at least three times. If all he was supposed to do was tell us about Benjamin, all he had to do was ring the bell. But he kept coming back – watching."

"So what is it you're thinking?"

"I'm thinking that with Benjamin — gone now — now it's safe for Maria Elena and Roberto — it's safe for Robert to come find them."

"Ahhhhh, Rosa, you shouldn't go getting your hopes up — OR put any more ideas in Maria's head.

"I'm just saying, Carlos..."

He kissed her forehead and smiled. "Just don't say anything to Maria or 'Berto, okay? I can't stand seeing the disappointed looks on their faces one more time, all right?"

"All right," she grudgingly abided, while reaching to turn out the lamp. "But I'm not giving up hope."

xxxxxxx

Maria Elena tucked the blanket under Roberto's arms. "You ready to say your prayers?"

He nodded.

"Okay, let's go," she said, as they made the sign of the Cross in unison. It had been their nightly ritual since he was old enough to talk. She would sit on the side of his bed, silently listening and praying along with her little boy. "Dear God, thank you for this day. Thank you for my food and clothes and my home. Please Bless all the poor people in the world who aren't as fortunate as me. Thank you for my Mom and Grandma and Grandpa. And please keep my Daddy safe, 'cause it's really dangerous being a Police-man in New York City. And please help my Daddy find Mommy and me so we can be a family. Amen."

"Amen," Maria Elena said. "That was very nice, sweetheart," she said, leaning over to kiss his forehead.

She began standing up to leave, but stopped. "Did you remember to put on your "Good Nights?"

He rolled his eyes and sighed with slight embarrassment, "Yes, ma'am."

"Okay, I was just checking," she said, leaning to kiss him again.

Before reaching for the light switch, Roberto called to her. "Mommy — is it really true that when Daddy had 'accidents' when he was a little boy he used to get yelled at and spanked?

"I'm afraid so," she nodded.

"But it wasn't his fault. I feel bad for him," Roberto said, empathetically.

"Me too, Sweetie. Don't worry – you'll grow out of it, just like he did," she said with a reassuring smile.

"How old was Daddy when he outgrew it?"

"I think he said he was twelve, honey." She stood in the doorway, smiling, as she watched Roberto count with his fingers, doing the math 'til his twelfth birthday. He wanted to be exactly like his father, in every way.

Simultaneously, in NYC

Alex exited the bathroom, having finished packing all of Bobby's toiletries in his travel case. She watched with amusement as he stood in front of his open closet doors, trying to decide what to wear.

"Want me to help?" she offered.

He threw up his hands, "G-go ahead, I don't know what to wear...I don't know what to bring." Alex laughed as he sat on the corner of the bed. It was as if the nervous excitement of his trip — the thought of finally being with Maria Elena – not to mention meeting his son for the first time– had immobilized every decisive brain cell in his head. He watched, staring but not really seeing, as Alex sorted through the hangers and piles of folded shirts and pants.

"This one...this one...this one...definitely THIS one...these jeans...these...these...you have shorts and a bathing suit?"

"In-in-in one of the drawers," he stammered, his finger pointing and hand waving at the armoire."

Alex laughed, "I wonder if he does that?" (She was alluding to his hand gestures).

"Does what?" Bobby asked, not following the humor of her line of thought.

"These Tommy's...you should wear these when you see her...and this shirt," Alex advised, holding up the dark gray Milano Uomo, "You look great in it – it makes your hair look nice...not with the round sunglasses, though...wear the rectangles."

Bobby had all he could do to follow along with her instructions. His mind was elsewhere.

"Are you listening?" she joked.

"Y-yes, yes. I umm, I didn't know you noticed all that stuff."

"Oh, that's right," she began teasing him with sarcasm, "I got my Gold Shield in the box of Fruity Pebbles I bought last week."

He snorted with laughter. "I'm sorry...I just meant..."

"I know, I know. Well, I do notice — and if you wear what I tell you, so will she!" Alex guaranteed.

"Hey, Eames — thanks."

Here she was again; five years his junior but feeling all maternal as she readied him for his trip. She felt like a proud mother getting her son ready for his first date.

"Where're your Ralph Lauren's? You need those, too!"

"Um...oh, over there on the chair – I wore 'em last Saturday."

"Well, you can wear them on the plane down — hopefully you didn't spill any Thai on 'em; then you can get changed into the stuff I told you before you go see her," Alex said, bossily.

Bobby gave her a look that said, "what are you talking about —on the plane – getting changed before I see her – I'm heading straight there!"

Alex easily read his mind. "Bobby, you can't just show up there in the middle of the night...by the time you land and get a car and a map and figure out where you're going, it could be 4 in the morning!"

He sat, listening to her reasoning.

"Look, what you should do is get a hotel, try to catch some sleep – I know you're not gonna' be able to sleep on the plane down – then shower and shave–did you hear that part? ... and put on the clean stuff I picked out, then go see her." She let out an exasperated sigh. She really did have to think for him.

"Okay, okay," he appeased her.

"We haven't even checked on flights yet – what if there isn't one tonight?"

"There has to be — I have to get there!"

Alex was already walking towards the phone on the night stand. She picked it up and dialed 'information'. "Start hanging that stuff in your garment bag while I'm on with the airline," she directed.

"Good evening...I'd like to make a reservation for tonight...if you have any flights going out to San Juan...oh, really...well, when is the next one? 7:20 a.m.?"

Bobby looked on, disheartened, as Alex continued.

"Nothing to San Juan out of JFK or La Guardia? Really! What time does that leave? Can I book it now, on the phone with you?" She motioned with her fingers to Bobby to hand over his credit card. "Yes, on VISA...the number is 4416..."

Bobby sighed with relief. He had a reservation. Alex hung up the phone, smiling. "You're all set – you're leaving on the red-eye out of Newark at 12:10 a.m."

xxxxxxxx

Her parents and Roberto had gone to sleep hours ago, but Maria Elena spent the night –as she had spent a thousand others over the past twelve years- tossing and turning, thinking about Bobby.

Her memories were fresh in her mind because she had replayed them, over and over – committing every detail of Bobby and their precious time together. She remembered his 'look' and his walk; his voice, his lips, his eyes– but most important, his character. She remembered, especially, the night in Atlantic City and the things that he had said in convincing her that his love for her was real and not part of the deceit being perpetrated on her brother. She remembered the look on his face, as the realization of the depth of her love for him finally sunk in.

She began thinking about the man – the Cop from New York that had been spotted watching her house. Her hopeful attitude convinced her that Bobby had sent the other cop – "to report back to him about us," she thought to herself; "To see what? To see if Roberto and I lived here with my parents? To see if I had found someone else? ..."

The sing-song chirping of the Coqui roused her from her thoughts and she, instead, turned her attention to the song which was softly playing on the radio near her bed:

"_...You're always on my mind, day and night_

_When I think of you, boy, ev'rything feels so right_

_Well, I often think of the happy times we spent together_

_And I just can't wait to tell you that I love you_

_Time keeps passing by--you're not here_

_I feel so all alone when I don't have you near_

_But I often think of the happy times we spent together_

_And I just can't wait to tell you that I love you_

_I'm missing my baby, I'm missing my baby_

_I gotta hold you tight and never let you out of my sight_

_Missing my baby, I'm missing my baby_

_I gotta feel your heartbeat next to mine_

_Gotta feel it_

_(Spoken:)_

_Sometimes, at night, when I go to sleep_

_I hold my pillow tight, thinking of you 'til it hurts_

_But, in my mind, I know you're mine_

_And, somewhere, you're thinking of me, too_

_(Sung:)_

_Gotta have you, gotta hold you_

_Got to have your lovin'_

_And tell you that I love you_

_And I really miss you_

_I'm missing my baby, I'm missing my baby_

_I gotta have you near, right here by my side_

_Ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh_

_Missing my baby (oh, oh)"_

Without even realizing it, she found herselfclutching her pillow – just as the song said. Tears flowed from her eyes as she finally gave into the exhaustion of her heart and mind, drifting off to a fitful slumber.

Newark Liberty Airport, Newark, New Jersey

Alex's driving bordered on reckless, as she sped to ensure that Bobby made his flight. She had informed him on the drive over from Manhattan that, while he was in the shower, she had called Sanchez to pick Bobby up upon his arrival at the Luis Munoz Marin International Airport in San Juan. His flight would be arriving at about 4:00 a.m. and none of the airport's car rental agencies would be open until 7:30.

"Besides," she told him, "I figured he could at least drive you past the house so you'll know your way there later. He said you're welcome to 'crash' at his folks' place, or he'll bring ya' to a decent hotel."

Bobby, again, seemed to be lost in thought and not paying attention, but finally asked, "So...I didn't even think about it earlier...so Sanchez knows...everything."

Alex smiled, "Yeah– he put two and two together and had it figured out, but when she came running out of the house calling 'Bobby,' that pretty much sealed the deal for him.

Bobby was silent for a moment, then turned to Alex. "You really gonna' let him take you out?"

"Well, I wasn't, at first...but seeing how he's dragging his butt outta' bed at 4 in the morning to pick you up, I figure it's the least I can do," she laughed.

The SUV swerved hard, as she almost missed the "Continental - Departures" exit.

"Don't ever complain about my driving, again he teasingly cautioned her.

She pulled in, directly in front of a waiting sky cap and pressed the trunk release button. "Well, this is it!" she happily announced.

He hesitated, turning towards Alex. "Eames," he said, his hands all in motion, "Alex — I-I-I d-don't know what I would've done without you this week."

"Yeah, well – I'm not looking forward to tomorrow – facing Deakins alone. I'm gonna' have some explainin' to do."

"Jus-just tell him the truth," Bobby said, resigned to having to reveal it sooner or later, "...and if he's gonna' yell, just tell him to call me on my cell — I don't want him yelling at you, okay?"

"Okay," she smiled.

She leaned in to hug him and he wrapped his long, strong arm around her, pulling her close. "Thank you, for everything," he whispered in her ear.

"You're welcome," she responded, kissing his cheek and patting his back. "Good luck! And enjoy yourself."

He got out of the SUV and retrieved his luggage from the trunk. He walked back to the open passenger door, for one last 'good-bye." Alex read the worry on his face and gave him a reassuring smile. "Don't worry– he's gonna' love you!"

Bobby nodded, his head slightly tilted to one side. "Bye — I'll call ya' ". He closed the door and was on his way.

xxxxxxxxx

San Juan, Puerto Rico

Bobby's flight had arrived on time and Sanchez was there, as promised, to greet him. The two men talked during their drive; Sanchez recounting the facts revealed by his surveillance, as well as the events of the previous night –Bobby wanted to hear the particulars again, first hand. In turn, Bobby filled in Sanchez with a more detailed history of his relationship with Vasquez, specifically, Maria Elena and how he came to be in the situation at hand.

As hard as it was for him to believe, Bobby now found himself a little more relaxed. He enjoyed Sanchez' company – "He has a down-to-earth, laid back feeling about him — he makes me feel calm," Bobby thought to himself. The drive in the darkness of the cool morning air was calming to him, as well. It was refreshing and fragrant and, after leaving the City, heading towards Dorado, the rhythmic crashing of the waves onto the beach could be heard in the distance. It lulled him into a peacefulness that his nerves hadn't enjoyed in a while — certainly not since the event of the previous Friday.

Sanchez had driven in silence for the past ten or fifteen minutes, leaving Bobby to his thoughts. "Here we are," he finally spoke, as he navigated a right turn onto Calle Central. "It's the white one– almost down at the end on the right – closest to the beach."

"Slow down – I just wanna' look," Bobby said.

"Okay, I'll go slow, but I ain't stoppin' – the old guy might call the cops again and I ain't gettin' caught here snoopin' twice," he joked, but seriously meant it.

As they slowly cruised by the house, Bobby had all he could do to restrain himself from jumping out. He gazed at the house, imagining them sleeping peacefully inside: his beautiful Maria Elena and his son– who he already loved– he couldn't figure out how, but knew he did.

"There," Sanchez said. "It's easy if you go the way I just brought you. I'll write ya' the directions."

"Thanks." He glanced at Sanchez, afraid to ask, but had to: "C-can you pull a "U" at the corner and drive back the other way?"

Sanchez just gave him a look.

"I know, I know...but just, just pass one more time," Bobby pleaded.

xxxxxxxxx

After their 'practice run,' Sanchez brought Bobby back to his parents' house. He showed him to the spare bedroom, the bathroom and brought him to the kitchen, asking if he wanted anything to eat.

"No thanks. I think I'll just try laying down and resting. Thanks, Sanchez."

"No problem, man," he assured. He walked over to Bobby and handed him the car keys. Bobby looked at him with question.

"I'm goin' back to bed 'til noon, man! I'm on vacation. You take the wheels – you're on your own." He headed towards his own bedroom, turning back to wish Bobby luck and give him a word of warning. "Hey, Bobby – good luck, man —and um...make sure you close your bedroom door tight...you gotta' watch out for Paco," he said with a grin.

"Wh-who's 'Paco'? Bobby asked, envisioning another of Sanchez' wild and crazy friends or, perhaps, a grouchy relative who didn't appreciate 'company' staying at the house. Bobby suddenly felt uneasy being there.

"It's my mom's crazy dog, man. If you don't latch the door tight, he'll jump on the bed and hump your leg all night!" Sanchez said with a hearty laugh.

It made Bobby laugh, too.

xxxxxxxxx

If Bobby had dozed off for an hour, it was a lot. He was too wound up– anxious to get back to the Vasquez' house. He was up, showered, shaved and dressed – all in accordance with Alex's instructions, and out of the house before any members of the Sanchez family were even awake.

He followed Darius' directions and easily found the house, pulling the dark sedan into the driveway, behind the family's cars.

It was 7:20 a.m. He turned off the engine and sat, trying to compose himself by taking a few deep breaths. It didn't work. He felt his heart racing as he looked at the house — especially when he saw the front door open.

END Chapter Eight

Musical credits: _Missing My Baby – Selena_

FYI: "_Coqui"_ Small frogs, indigenous to Puerto Rico and other islands. The male frogs "sing" all night, until dawn, in a high, two-syllable chirp. They're considered to be 'good luck'.


	9. Chapter 9

1

_**Finding My Son, Finding Myself**_

**Chapter Nine**

His heart was pounding. Could this, at long last, be it? The moment he'd been waiting for, the moment his heart had been yearning for, for the past twelve years. The angle of the opening door caused the morning sun to reflect off the panes of glass, making it difficult to see the figure exiting the house. As the door swung closed and the figure stepped onto the porch, Bobby saw Carlos Vasquez.

Carlos stood at the top step, getting a better look at the car he noticed parked at the end of his driveway. "It's the same damn car, back _again_," he cursed to himself. "I'm gonna' get to the bottom of this and see what this guy wants." He heard the car door open and froze half-way down the steps. He recognized the tall figure standing next to the car; more mature – older, certainly more gray, but there was no mistaking him – Bobby hadn't changed that much over the years. His heart leapt with happiness for his daughter and grandson, but, too, a feeling of caution – of wanting to protect them, kept his emotions in check.

Bobby walked around the nose of the car, towards the front path. Carlos quickly glanced over his shoulder, making sure the door had closed behind him. The two men approached each other, slowly – eyeing each other for some hint of their respective initial reactions.

They were approximately four feet apart.

"Mr. Vasquez," was all Bobby said in greeting, with a slight nod of his head.

The elder man extended his hand to Bobby, "Robert. I'm glad to see you're well." The look in his eyes was sincere, as was the smile that crossed his lips.

Bobby began to speak, but Carlos immediately interrupted him, nervously looking over his should back towards the house. "I've got to tell you, Robert – and please don't think badly of me for saying it..."

Bobby nodded for him to continue.

"...if you've just come out of curiosity or for a few hours' visit, it would be better if you would just leave now, before they see you..."

Bobby shook his head negatively and began to protest – to explain, but the elder man kept talking.

"...I can't stand by and watch...I wouldn't be able to stand seeing the disappointment and hurt in their eyes if you just come and go out of their lives."

Bobby looked Carlos squarely in the eyes, "Mr. Vasquez," his tone never more serious, "I never even knew about Roberto's existence until four days ago. I'm here for my son — and for Maria Elena, if she'll have me."

Carlos smiled, relieved at learning Bobby's intentions. He stepped towards Bobby, placing a hand on his shoulder. "I usually take a morning walk on the beach; come, Son – we have a lot to talk about."

A sense of relief washed over Bobby. That had gone better than expected. He sensed no hostility or animosity from Mr. Vasquez. The two men walked to the end of the block, over a small dune and onto the beach, stopping for a moment; Carlos to remove his sandals and Bobby, his shoes and socks. They walked down towards the shoreline, the coolness of the hard, wet sand beneath their feet.

"I-I'm sorry about Benjamin," Bobby said.

"I'm sorry, too — he squandered his life – his potential — all that crime and the drugs..."

Bobby didn't offer any further details about Benny's death, or the fact that he was there, staring down the barrel of Benny's gun– potentially his last victim, before Sanchez had ended the siege.

Bobby was anxious for details about Maria Elena and Roberto. He could barely stand the anticipation, but he knew Carlos Vasquez – he was a cautious, deliberate man, so Bobby fought the urge to ask the hundreds of questions he had compiled over the past week and let the elder man dictate the pace of their meeting.

"Maria never understood why you returned her letters...she wrote dozens of them."

"I, I never got any letters. Maria never knew my real address — it was too dangerous..."

"She sent them to your precinct. They were all returned – 'refused' or 'undeliverable'."

It began making sense to Bobby. His Commander had suspected that Bobby's relationship with Maria Elena was more than professional and Bobby got reprimanded. Bobby had convinced the higher-ups that he was just playin' her – just like he was Benny. They must have intercepted the mail – never gave it to Bobby and, soon after the operation ended, he was transferred to another precinct.

"I wrote to her, too...b-but you had moved — left no forwarding address. I thought you did it because you didn't want us to be together...I thought you were angry about my deceiving Benny — having your son arrested and put in jail — I thought you were angry about our age difference–that you didn't approve... I, I didn't know what to think."

Mr. Vasquez let out a slight chuckle. "Rosa and I – we always liked you, Robert. We could tell that you were different from Benny – we thought that his having a friend like you would be a good influence on him — get him away from the drugs and the crime."

"If, if I could have done my job without deceiving—hurting the rest of you, believe me, I would have," Bobby assured.

"It's all right, Robert. I've lived long enough to know that people sometimes find themselves in situations that aren't always of their own choosing. You had a job to do – you were on the right side of the law – you shouldn't have any regrets."

"Well, it was never my 'choice' to stay away from Maria Elena — and if I had known about Roberto, well, there'd be no way I'd have stayed away."

"Ah, little 'Berto," Carlos said with a laugh, "He looks like you– especially his eyes. I see Maria looking at him – you know, when he's playing, or doing his homework –or reading— and I know what she's thinking. She couldn't ever escape the memory of you– even if she had wanted to — not when she looked at his face."

The comment, somehow, made Bobby feel proud; still amazed at the fact that he had a little boy–a carbon copy of himself, made purely from the love that he and Maria Elena shared. He couldn't wait to start being a Dad.

"H-how is he? Is he a good boy? Is he doing all right in school?"

"He's excellent – Maria's done a wonderful job with him. He's a good little boy—minds his manners. He's probably the smartest kid in his class– all A's."

Bobby was beaming, until Carlos continued.

"When I think about what Benjamin had planned," Mr. Vasquez' voice trailed off as he became lost in thought; now speaking in barely a whisper, "...I would have killed him myself..."

Bobby stopped walking; Carlos took a few steps, still lost in thought, before noticing. He stopped and turned back towards Bobby.

"Wh-what do you mean what Benny had planned?"

"You mind if we sit a while?"

"No – there 're some rocks over there–," Bobby said, motioning with his finger.

They sat, side by side, looking out over the aqua-blue water; the frothy white foam of the breaking waves lapping at the rocks beneath them.

"It's why I had to get Maria away," he said somberly.

Bobby looked on, curiously; his nod urging Carlos to continue.

"A little while after Benjamin got arrested, one of our neighbors and her daughter went to visit him in jail. While they were talking, they — they let it slip that Maria Elena was...expecting. Maria–she had just told Rosa and me a couple of days before. To be honest with you, Robert, at the time, we weren't exactly thrilled at the news."

Bobby nodded, "I can understand that."

"Well, Benjamin...he was furious...started yelling at Mrs. Ruiz and her daughter...all crazy things...how he would get revenge on you...calling Maria terrible names."

Now, that, too began making sense to Bobby. It was Mrs. Ruiz who he had seen while walking her dog the night Bobby went to the Vasquez' home, only to find them gone and the house empty.

"Mrs. Ruiz came to us and told us what had happened. We knew that Benjamin would be angry, but — he was in jail — we didn't think he'd be able to do anything to us..or you."

Bobby nodded, listening intently.

"A few days later, a couple of Policemen came to our door, with a plain-clothes Detective. We thought it had something to do with Benjamin, but they said they were there for Maria. Apparently, after the Ruiz' visit with Benjamin, he made a call to some of his friends– they turned out to be members of another drug gang across town that he had connections to...the Morello's. Benjamin...arranged for them to kidnap Maria...to bring her to..."

Bobby figured it out and interjected, "...an illegal abortionist..." his voice softly trailed off.

Carlos continued, "...A butcher...in some hidden, filthy back room...at a warehouse in Spanish Harlem...not even a real doctor...Benjamin wanted her baby...your baby dead and, who knows what would've happened to Maria? ...to this day, I try not to think about it."

"So you left – to keep her safe...to protect her and the baby."

"We had no other choice. Benjamin had lots of 'associates' –this time he had gotten caught, but we couldn't take the chance that he wouldn't try again – not with the life of our daughter and our grandchild at stake."

"How did the Police find out about the plan?"

"Luckily, one of the men from the Morello gang he spoke to – he was an undercover cop who had infiltrated that gang. As soon as he learned what Benjamin wanted done, he reported it to his Superiors."

Bobby sighed – with relief and disbelief of their good fortune.

"If that cop hadn't 've been there..." Carlos' voice trailed off.

"Do you remember any of the Officers names, or the Detective's?"

"Oh, yes — the undercover one who ruined Benjamin's...sick plan...we owe our daughter's and our grandson's life to him. Rosa and I, we remember him in our prayers every day – 'Odafin Tutuola'." Carlos chuckled, "It's not easy to forget a name like that."

A broad smile crossed Bobby's lips, lighting up his face. "I know him — 'Fin– he's a great guy. H-he didn't know who the father of Maria's baby was?"

"No – he did know that the baby's father was a cop — because that's what Benjamin kept screaming about when he was convincing them to do the job— that a 'filthy pig had knocked up his sister' —and he was gonna' make you pay for it. Sorry...I was just repeating what he said."

"It's okay. So, you left the city."

"Yes, right away. Maria didn't want to– her mother and I had to convince her that she and the baby were in real danger. We stayed with different relatives – mostly Rosa's sister in San Juan...and then little Roberto finally came...it was the happiest day of our lives."

"Any what about Maria? How is she..._really_?"

Carlos sighed and rubbed his hands through his wavy hair, "It wasn't easy on her. She missed you, terribly –cried all the time. When the baby came, she was happy— she said it was like having a piece of you with her. Deep down, she never gave up hope that the two of you would be reunited, but she worried, you know...that maybe life had gone on for you— that you had found someone else and gotten on with your life."

Bobby shook his head and sighed, "Not a day has gone by for the past 12 years that my heart didn't ache for her."

"Well, it's been the same for her. She's talked to 'Berto since he was a baby — telling him all about you. He keeps your picture next to his bed."

That, too, made Bobby smile.

"But, Maria – she's done well for herself. Finished her schooling and bought a little salon downtown with her aunt. We're very proud of her. She's a hard worker."

Carlos slid down off the rock, making a small splash in the water. "How long do you plan on staying in Puerto Rico, Robert?"

Bobby slid down, likewise, letting out a heavy sigh, "I'd like to answer 'forever' — but I'm afraid that's up to your daughter."

The elder man smiled, placing his hand on Bobby's shoulder. "There's so much more to talk about...for you and Maria, too — but there's plenty of time for that later. Let's head back to the house. There's gonna' be a couple of people _very_ happy to see you, and one _especially happy_ to meet his Daddy."

Bobby smiled at the thought, the butterflies in his stomach increasing with every step closer.

**One Police Plaza - Major Case Squad**

Deakins leaned back in his chair, trying to absorb the entire story that Alex had just told him. Alex had never seen a look on his face like it – it was priceless. She sat in the chair across his desk and smiled, "Don't worry— I know it takes a while for it to sink in."

"Bobby—a father." The Captain shook his head, it's incredible — but, he's happy about this, right?"

"Ecstatic– I've never seen him so happy, or so nervous."

"Well, good for him, he deserves it. I, umm, I hope everything turns out — for our sakes, as well— 'cause if it doesn't, he's gonna' be some pain in the ass to deal with when he gets back here," Deakins said.

Alex rolled her eyes and nodded. "I'm dying to give him a call and find out how it's going."

_Meanwhile, back at_

_1229 Calle Central_

Rosa Vasquez had heard her daughter's bedroom door open and reached for the pot to pour Maria Elena a fresh, hot cup of coffee. Friday mornings were less hectic for Maria, as the salon was open late on Friday nights, so she didn't head for work until noon. She walked over to her mother, giving her a 'good morning' kiss.

"Good morning, sweetheart; you sleep well?"

"Not really— same as every other night, I guess," she answered with a slight chuckle.

"Is Roberto up yet?"

"No, he was up late. You know how he is— he falls asleep when I tuck him in, then he wakes up in the middle of the night and reads with his flashlight— he thinks I don't know," she laughed.

"Well, your father was up early— went for his morning walk," Rosa said, looking at the kitchen clock and noticing the time, "Almost 8:30 already – he's taking longer than usual."

Maria walked to the front door, slowly taking a sip from her mug. She pulled back the curtain, trying to peek down the street, to see if her father was returning from his walk.

"Mom?" she called.

"What is it, honey?"

"That car is back — it's parked in the driveway." Maria Elena opened the door, to get a better look. The vehicle wasn't occupied.

Her mother joined her, now standing out on the porch; Maria, preoccupied with the mysterious vehicle; Rosa looking down the road, watching as the two figures appeared over the small sand dune.

"Oh my God," she whispered in disbelief.

Maria Elena turned towards her mother, fearful of what was wrong. "What is it, Mom? What's wrong?"

"Look," she said, pointing down the road. "It's your father...and..." She didn't finish her sentence before Maria, too, recognized the figure to her father's left.

The mug crashed to the floor, as Maria rushed down the steps —uncaring that she was in her nightgown. "Bobby! Oh my God, Bobby! Bobby!

Bobby had faintly heard a voice and looked towards the house. He saw her — a beautiful vision, her long hair and gown flowing in the cool morning breeze as she ran towards him, arms open, ready to embrace him.

Leaving Carlos behind, Bobby broke into a run, a huge smile on his face as he neared her. He was less than ten yards away from once again holding the love of his life in his arms— and from having his dreams come true.

Their eyes met, faces beaming with happiness. She rushed towards him even faster, leaping into his arms as he lifted her and clutched her against his chest, wrapping her in a hug that she easily interpreted: he would never again let go of her. He buried his face in the sweet-smelling warmth of the crook of her neck, as she ran her hand through the curls at the back of his head, pressing her lips close to his ear, repeating his name over and over again and reaffirming her love for him.

"I love you," he softly whispered, "I've never stopped loving you." He spun her around and gently placed her down. They stared into each other's eyes, all the while smiling. His large hands softly cupping her face, thumbs gently wiping the happy tears from her cheeks.

"I didn't think it was possible – you're more beautiful than I remembered."

She gazed up at him, her fingers gently brushing through the 'salt and pepper' hair at his temple. "You're even more handsome than I remembered – I like the gray," she teased, with a smile.

He pulled her close, again, holding her against him and planting kiss after kiss upon her head. She laid still against him, in the comforting strength of his embrace, listening to the pounding of his heart.

Carlos and Rosa stood by; far enough away to afford them some privacy, but close enough to feel the love of the reunion they were witnessing. They were both crying their own tears of happiness at the realization of their daughter's dream.

Maria Elena pulled away, slightly, and gazed into Bobby's eyes. It was a look she had seen before—on a long-ago night in Atlantic City—a look of pure desire and love for her. She hoped that her own eyes conveyed the same message to him. He lowered his head, signaling that he wanted to kiss her lips. She smiled and slightly tilted her head back, closing her eyelids and parting her lips. The soft touch of his warm, moist lips upon hers suddenly felt so familiar, it was as if no time, at all, had passed. It felt so good—so right to be with Bobby—she stopped all conscious effort to think about or remember anything and softly melted into him, surrendering to the passion of his gentle but hungrily-exploring kiss.

They parted. She was still smiling up at him, watching as his tongue slowly ran over his lips, as if savoring the taste of their kiss.

"You're so beautiful," he told her again, his piercing brown eyes examining hers. "An-and, you're the mother of my child."

"Yes, I am," she proudly stated. She took his hand. "C'mon…let's go inside," she smiled. "There's a little boy in there who's been waiting a very long time to meet his Daddy."

END Chapter Nine


	10. Chapter 10

1**_Finding My Son, Finding Myself_**

**Chapter Ten**

Bobby and Maria Elena walked, hand in hand, towards the house and were met by her parents. Rosa greeted Bobby, arms up stretched and wrapped him in a hug, kissing his cheek. "Welcome back to the family, Robert."

He kissed her cheek in return, "Thank you, Mrs. Vasquez – it's good to be here."

As they approached the front steps, Bobby saw the pieces of the shattered mug and the spilled coffee dripping down the stairs. He looked at Maria, in her nightgown and bare feet. "Here," he said, as he scooped her up in his arms, "I don't want you to get hurt on the glass." He was so big and strong compared to her. She grinned as she wrapped her arms around his neck as they ascended the steps. Mr. Vasquez held open the front door, watching as Bobby carried Maria Elena over the threshold and placed her down in the living room, hugging and kissing her again.

"Robert, let me fix you something for breakfast," Rose offered, in typical motherly fashion.

Bobby held up his hand in protest, "No, thank you – I, umm, I don't think I could eat right now," he answered, as he looked around, surveying the living and dining rooms. Maria Elena noticed his eyes darting about.

"He's still sleeping," she softly said, still holding his hand.

Bobby check the time on the wall clock: 8:50.

"He sleeps late when he's off from school. It was teachers' conferences and their convention this week. He goes back on Monday. Anyway, he stays up 'til all hours of the morning, reading in his bed with a flashlight."

Bobby smiled, "I used to do that when I was a kid," he chuckled.

Rosa rejoined them in the living room, carrying a tray bearing four fresh cups of coffee and some homemade cookies. "Please, have a seat," she offered.

Bobby's eyes, once again, glanced down the hallway — the closed door at the end of the hall was, obviously, Roberto's bedroom. The three Vasquez' sensed his anxiousness as Bobby reluctantly sat on the sofa next to Maria. She was still smiling, sitting close; her left hand holding his and her right hand rubbing his back. She was still practically in shock — disbelief that Bobby was really there. She found herself incapable of not smiling and touching him.

Bobby kept eyeing the hallway, "Wha-what time does he usually get up?" he asked, trying to sound more curious than impatient.

Maria Elena and her parents exchanged a smile, realizing that the wait must be torture for Bobby. "It's been around ten o'clock all this week — I guess it depends on how late he stayed up reading," Maria answered.

Bobby unconsciously let out a sigh at the thought of waiting another hour. It would be unbearable. He looked down at his hand, still entwined with Maria Elena's and suddenly felt a twinge of guilt. He was so happy to be there with her – it still seemed unreal – and yet, it wasn't enough: he _needed_ to see his son.

Maria could sense his anxiety and felt bad for him. "Do you want to peek in on him?" she offered.

Bobby was already rising from the sofa before he even answered. Maria Elena smiled at her parents as she led Bobby down the hallway. As they neared the door, she felt a slight tug of resistence on her hand. She stopped and turned towards Bobby. "What's wrong?" she whispered.

"M-may-maybe I shouldn't."

"Why not? Don't be silly – we're just gonna' look at him," she reasoned.

"I, I don't want to scare him – what if he wakes up an-an-and gets scared seeing a strange man standing in his room? I don't wanna' traumatize him," Bobby explained.

Maria began to laugh, but stopped when she realized how serious he was. She took a step closer and caressed his cheek, staring into his eyes, "Sweetie, he's not gonna' be scared when he sees you – he knows your face as well as I do — it's gonna' be the happiest day of his life when he sees you're here," she assured him. "C'mon," she said, tugging Bobby's hand to follow along.

She quietly turned the doorknob and slowly swung the door open. Bobby quickly scanned the room. It was neat – but boyish; decorated in blues and greens and earth tones that seemed to reflect his island home. There was a desk and computer for his school work and shelves full of books which brought a smile to Bobby's lips. As the door opened wider, he saw the night table next to the bed, his framed picture there, just as Maria Elena said. Bobby recognized the photo–it had been taken on Valentine's Day, while he was still under cover, before Maria Elena knew the truth about him. He couldn't remember himself looking so young.

Maria Elena turned and watched for the reaction on Bobby's face, as his eyes finally fell upon the bed and the curly-haired boy who laid peacefully sleeping. He even slept just like Bobby; on his right side, his right arm under the pillow, his left hand clutching the sheet under his chin. Bobby stared down at the tiny figure — tiny to him, although 'Berto was tall for his age. His curly brown hair, long eye lashes; his face– pure innocence... and one little foot poking out from under the covers. Bobby immediately thought back to the tiny footprint on his Birth Certificate and Alex's comment, 'cute little footprint'." He stood, watching in amazement. He couldn't believe he was actually seeing _his_ little boy.

Maria stood by, just looking at Bobby's smile. He wanted, so badly, to go closer to the bed — to

pet his hair — to kiss his head; only successful in fighting the urge because he told himself he would have thousands of chances to do just that in the years to come. Maria almost wished that Bobby _would_ wake their son up, because as anxious as Bobby was to meet his little boy, Maria was just as anxious to see the joy on Roberto's face when he finally met his Dad and discovered, first hand, the love and comfort of one of his embraces.

The happy parents smiled at each other and tiptoed from the room, walking arm in arm back towards the living room.

A worried look crossed Bobby's face. "I, I didn't bring him anything," Bobby fretted, "...a toy or something..."

"Bobby, he doesn't need anything – he's gonna' be thrilled just to see you."

"...But, but he must want something...something special, I could give him," Bobby persisted.

"There is one thing," Rosa reminded her daughter with a sly smile.

"What is it?" Bobby anxiously asked, but neither answered.

"Mother," Maria scolded the elder woman, "He doesn't need that...I told him it was too expensive."

"What?" Bobby asked impatiently, while Carlos Vasquez wisely stayed out of it.

Rosa looked at her daughter, a look of pleading on her face. "Oh, Maria, what's the harm? Robert wants to buy a present for his son — besides, it'll give him something to do for an hour until 'Berto wakes up."

Bobby's head oscillated between Rosa and Maria Elena, catching Maria's admonishing look at her mother. Rosa ignored it and continued, "Maria, look at him," she gestured towards Bobby. "He's gonna' go crazy if he has to sit around here for another hour waiting. You could be to the store and back by the time 'Berto's just waking up — Robert will have his gift for him — everybody will be happy," she smiled.

Maria held her ground. "The 'harm,' Mom, is that I don't want him to be spoiled. I already told him that an eleven year old doesn't need an expensive bicycle like that — I already told him 'no.' Besides, he has the used one he got from Ricky, up the street. That'll do."

Bobby smiled and became lost in thought; happy to finally know what the item was, but happier knowing that he _would_ buy his son that bike. Whether or not it was going to be _today_ remained to be seen — they might have to 'work' on Maria a little longer to make her change her mind, but she'd eventually come around. Bobby had already missed so much of 'Berto's young life; he knew there was no way that Maria would deprive them both of the bonding and fun of a Dad buying his son his first brand new bike.

Rosa's voice softened, "Maria, little 'Berto's waited for this day his whole life. He's going to _remember_ it for the _rest_ of his life. Why not make it the happiest it could be?"

Bobby looked at Maria, eyebrows raised in hope. Maria sighed, relinquishing her stand and smiling as she saw the smile of relief on Bobby's face.

"You know," Carlos finally interceded, "Maybe Robert and I should go to the store. If 'Berto wakes up and you're not here, he's gonna' think that's strange for a Friday morning. He knows you don't go to work 'til noon."

"Do you mind, Bobby?" Maria asked.

"No, I don't mind – that's great."

Bobby and Carlos kissed their respective women good-bye, Bobby whispering an added "thank you" to Maria Elena, and they headed for the store.

Carlos and Bobby talked for a good portion of the ride, but, in a quiet moment when the conversation lulled, Bobby realized that a little part of him inside felt bad. It certainly wasn't his intention to show up after all this time and undermine Maria Elena's authority with their boy. He knew the importance of parents showing a 'united front' – kids can sense those things and before you know it, they learn how to manipulate the parents — like a game of 'good cop, bad cop' –pitting one parent against the other, lenient versus disciplinarian. Bobby made a mental note to apologize to Maria Elena again and discuss it with her. He rationalized that today _is_ a special day and snapped out of his thoughts at Mr. Vasquez pulled into the parking lot of the bicycle shop.

xxxxxxxxxx

Maria Elena almost bumped into Roberto as she exited the bathroom after her shower. "Good morning, sleepy head," she said, kissing his messy curls.

"Good morning, Mommy," he said groggily as he stumbled into the bathroom and closed the door. Maria yelled through the door, "Take your shower, Roberto, while I'm fixing your breakfast."

Maria Elena quickly dressed, throwing on her jeans and a cami, letting her wavy long hair air dry, while she applied some mascara, lip gloss and perfume. She went to the kitchen and began cooking her son his waffles and sausage. She called from the kitchen about ten minutes later, "Roberto, c'mon honey, your breakfast is ready!"

"Okay, Mom, I'm just combing my hair," he called from the bathroom.

He entered the kitchen and sat at the table, taking a drink of his orange juice as Maria Elena placed his plate in front of him.

"Thank you, ma'am."

"You're welcome — at least you look more awake now," she said, smiling.

"Where's grandma and grandpa?" he asked, looking around.

"Grandma's out back in the garden and grandpa went to the store."

"Do you have to work late tonight, Mommy?"

"Why, honey?" she answered with her own question, (knowing that she wasn't going into work today— but not wanting to ruin the surprise).

"I don't want you to come home in the dark," he said, his fork picking at his food, "that man could come back and be outside..."

"Oh, honey, you don't have to worry about that man – nothing's gonna' happen to us now," she said, petting his hair. "Eat –before it gets cold."

She tried to distract him while he ate. "So, I see you were up late again last night."

He nodded, "I was reading."

"Yes, I know. That's gonna' have to stop on school nights, 'Berto... you need your sleep."

"Yes, ma'am. But it's a really interesting book, Mom."

xxxxxxxxx

Carlos and Bobby finished loading the bike into the car, tied down the trunk and headed back to the house.

"He's gonna' love it," Carlos assured Bobby. "He's was bugging Maria for that bike all summer."

"I hope he does. I just, ya' know – wanted to give him something."

"Believe me, Robert, I know how it is," he chuckled.

xxxxxxxxx

Rosa entered the kitchen with an armful of freshly-cut flowers from her garden. "Good morning, Sweetie!

"Good morning, Grandma," he smiled. "What did Grandpa go to the store for?"

Rosa and Maria Elena traded a nervous glance. "Oh, just for some supplies for my gardening and the lawn, Sweetheart," she deceived him.

Satisfied by the answer, he finished the last piece of his waffle and his juice. "Mom, can you take me to the library before you go to work?"

"Oh, I don't know, 'Berto – it's after ten o'clock already and..."

"Grandpa's home," the boy's yell interrupted, as he shot up out of his seat to run to the front door.

"'Berto!" Maria Elena called, as she and her mother followed Roberto to the front door. Neither of them wanted to miss the look on his face and his reaction to seeing Bobby there. He flung open the door and ran onto the porch, followed by the two women. He froze in his tracks and his jaw dropped in amazement. There, sitting in the center of the lawn, was the brand new bike his heart had been set on. He spun around towards his mother, giving her a hug, "Mom! You bought me my bike!"

"No, honey, it wasn't Mommy."

Roberto looked at his Grandma and Grandpa, as Mr. Vasquez climbed the porch steps. He ran to Carlos, hugging him, "Thank you, Grandpa!" he exclaimed. Carlos hugged him back and answered, "I'm glad you like it, Roberto — but it's not from Grandma and Grandpa, either," he said with a smile. Robert pulled away, a look of confusion furrowing his brow as he looked at his mother and Grandmother. He hadn't yet seen Bobby, who was hidden from view by the open trunk, as he undid the tie-downs.

Bobby's heart was racing – his stomach in a knot with joyful anticipation. He slowly walked and stood in the center of the path, looking at his now complete family up on the porch. Maria Elena took Roberto by the shoulders and slowly turned him around to face the front yard. Her hands rested on him as she and her parents waited for the recognition to sink in. They heard his tiny voice whisper, "Daddy." He turned his head, only to see his mother's smiling face. In an instant, he broke free and charged down the steps towards Bobby, smiling from ear to ear and shouting "Daddy!"

Bobby crouched down to receive the boy's hug. He, too, was smiling as the tears of joy welled up in his eyes. Roberto rushed to Bobby's outstretched arms, hugging him around his neck and wrapping his legs around his waist as Bobby stood and clutched him as tightly as he thought he could, without hurting him. The boy's face was buried in Bobby's neck, as he said over and over again, "Daddy, you came for me...I love you, Daddy."

Bobby held 'Berto's head close to his cheek, kissing him — using all his senses to take in as much of the boy as he could; his long fingers entwined in his soft, curly hair, his scent, his warm breath on his neck, his little voice. He was overwhelmed, realizing he had so underestimated the joy his heart would feel at finally seeing and holding _his_ son– his own flesh and blood.

Maria Elena and her parents had descended the steps and stood close by to Bobby and Roberto, looking on with their own eyes full of joyful tears.

"I love you, Roberto," Bobby whispered in his little boy's ear.

"Thank you, Daddy," 'Berto said, pulling his head back and looking into Bobby's eyes.

"You're welcome. You like your bike?" he asked, with a huge grin.

"I love my new bike — but that's not what I meant. I meant for finding Mommy and me and coming for us so you could marry Mommy and we could be a family," the little boy smiled and resumed his bear hug around Bobby's neck.

Bobby's eyes met Maria's. It was the happiest moment of his life. A life that he knew, from this point forward, would never be the same. He had once again found the love of his life, had found his son, had found a place where he was wanted and needed and loved — he had looked into the eyes of his child —and found himself.

He needed to call Eames.

END Chapter Ten


	11. Chapter 11

1**_Finding My Son, Finding Myself_**

**Chapter Eleven**

Roberto couldn't stop hugging his father, or smiling. Maria Elena finally convinced him to leave Bobby's embrace so that he could take his first ride on his new bike. Bobby stood behind Maria Elena, his arms wrapped around her, as they happily watched their boy. Rosa and Carlos approached and stood next to the proud parents.

"I've never seen him look so happy," Rosa smiled.

"He looks happier than all his birthdays and Christmases combined," Carlos added.

Robert parked his bike and ran back over to Bobby, his big brown eyes sparkling with happiness. He hugged his mother, as she clutched him to her chest and kissed his head.

"This is the best day of my whole life," the boy beamed.

"Mine, too, sweetheart," she said, smiling and kissing him again.

The family went back inside, Roberto still so excited, he didn't know what to do with himself; he wouldn't leave his father alone, hanging on him, hugging him, sitting on his lap — and Bobby ate up every second of it.

Rosa again offered to fix something to eat and, _this_ time, Bobby felt ravenous and gladly accepted.

"Thanks, Mrs. Vasquez."

"Bobby — you can call me 'Rosa' or 'Mom'," she told him.

Bobby smiled, "Thanks — Mom."

Roberto tapped on Bobby's arm, "Daddy, do you want to see my bedroom?"

"Sure," he answered, smiling at Maria Elena.

The boy tugged on Bobby's hand as he rose from the sofa, "C'mon Dad!" The word sounded strange, but wonderful, to Bobby's ears.

"I have a really neat computer, and a telescope and books...," his voice trailed off as they made their way down the hall.

Maria Elena got up from the sofa with a sigh, "I don't think I'll be able to get him calmed down," she laughed to her father, as she joined her mother in the kitchen to give her hand preparing Bobby's food.

"He looks so happy, Maria. It's nice they're spending some time alone, getting to know each other." Maria and Rosa listened with amusement as Roberto chatted, non-stop, showing his father everything in his room, asking him question after question.

xxxxxxxxxx

"Did you bring your _gun_, Daddy?" he asked, eyes as wide as saucers.

"No," Bobby shook his head. "I have my badge, though," he offered, removing the leather fold from his pocket and handing it to 'Berto to see.

"Can you walk me to school on Monday, Daddy?"

"Sure," Bobby smiled at the thought of it, "If you want me to."

"And Daddy, next Friday night is the father/son camp out at school, but Grandpa always goes with me, but now that you're here, you can go with me, 'cause Grandpa says he's getting too old to sleep on the floor and..."

"Hold on, 'Berto," Bobby said, amused at how quickly the boy spoke without 'coming up for air' – gladly noticing, also, that he didn't suffer from stuttering. "We'll see, okay?"

A frown quickly replaced the smile on Roberto's lips. "Whenever Mommy says 'we'll see' that means 'no'," he pouted.

Bobby sighed and gave his son a smile. "Okay, we'll talk to your Grandpa. If he _really_ doesn't mind my going instead of him, then I'll go — but we have to be really careful that we don't hurt Grandpa's feelings, okay?"

The smile immediately returned to Roberto's face, lifting Bobby's heart. He laughed to himself, "This could be dangerous," as he realized how quickly his little boy was wrapping him around his little finger.

xxxxxxxxx

The family talked and laughed as they sat around the table, getting reacquainted while Bobby ate his brunch. The remainder of the day was spent with a long walk on the beach, Bobby and 'Berto playing a game of catch and taking a walk around the neighborhood, so 'Berto could show Bobby his school, his church, his favorite playground and, their last stop, the library. Bobby relished every minute he spent with them, walking hand-in-hand with Maria Elena, stealing a kiss every now and again and giving 'Berto piggyback rides.

As they arrived back at the house, Roberto ran to the back yard, where Mr. Vasquez was preparing to bar-b-que. Bobby turned to Maria Elena, "I have to give my friend a call," he said, reaching into his pocket for his phone. "I have to get his car back to him," Bobby explained, as he dialed.

"Darius, it's Bobby...yeah, it went great, man –thanks. Look, I wanna' get your car back to ya...yeah, that's good...I'll be there in a little while." Bobby flipped the phone closed and gave Maria Elena a kiss — probably for the thousandth time that day. "I'm gonna' bring the car back to my friend, Darius and he's gonna' drive me back here, okay? I'll be back in less than and hour."

"Okay, sweetie," she said, kissing him good-bye and heading for the back yard.

As the car started and Bobby began to back out of the driveway, 'Berto came running from the back yard, a look of fear and panic on his face, shouting "Daddy! Don't go!"

Bobby stopped the car and got out, as Maria raced to the front of the house in pursuit of 'Berto. The boy ran to Bobby, throwing himself at him, wrapping his arms around his waist. "Don't go away, Daddy — please don't leave me and Mommy," he began crying.

Maria looked on, feeling terrible for her son — the pained expression on her face didn't escape Bobby.

Bobby held 'Berto's head close to his chest, kissing him while he stroked his hair. "Sshhh, it's okay, Roberto — Daddy's not goin' away." He took the boy by his shoulders and stooped, dipping his head, so that he could look him in the eyes. "I was just gonna' bring my friend's car back to him, then I'll be right back," he said in a soothing voice.

Roberto looked at him – not quite yet believing.

For Bobby, it was like looking in a mirror — except it was a mirror that went thirty-five years back in time. In the eyes looking back at him, he recognized the look of doubt and mistrust. It was the same look he gave his own father upon hearing one of _his_ empty promises — that he wouldn't come home late from work, or that he wouldn't drink anymore, or that he'd get tickets to the ball game — or that he'd never hit him again. It pained Bobby to know that his son was having those same feelings now. He didn't know what to say to make him believe, so he merely told the truth.

He crouched down in front of Roberto and looked up at his face, his eyes still glistening from tears. Maria now stood behind their son and placed her hands on his shoulders. "Roberto," he said calmly, softly, "I want you to listen to Daddy." The boy nodded his head and forced himself to swallow. "I love you and your Mommy and I'm never, _ever_ gonna' leave you. I want you to be happy an-an and I want you to feel safe — you have to believe me, okay?"

'Berto nodded and managed a small smile. "Can I go with you?"

Bobby looked up at Maria Elena, silently seeking her permission before answering the boy.

"Sure you can," he was happy to answer.

She watched as they got back in the car –taking note of how Bobby made sure 'Berto's seatbelt was on – and waved as the car pulled away down the street. She hated herself for a fleeting second when she realized that the thought had crossed her mind to not let him go — her imagination running wild with the scenario of Bobby riding off with 'Berto and never coming back. She dismissed the thought just as quickly, attributing it to her years of having to be an over-protective mother. She checked her watch as she headed back towards the back yard.

xxxxxxxx

'Berto had returned to his usual happy, talkative self during the ride back to the Sanchez' house. He filled Bobby in on his school subjects and his friends, his favorite colors and foods – everything he could think of — all the little things that a father should know about his son.

"Daddy, who is this man we're going to see?"

Bobby sensed a slight bit of apprehension in 'Berto's voice.

"He's my friend from New York. His name is Darius Sanchez –and he's a Policeman, too. His mommy and daddy live in San Juan and he came to visit them."

"Oh," was all 'Berto replied, but Bobby had sensed the boy relax, once he heard the word "Policeman."

They pulled into the Sanchez' driveway and Bobby turned off the ignition. "Do you wanna' wait here while I ring the bell?" Roberto nodded, 'yes.'

As Bobby jogged up the front steps, the barking dog could be heard from the back yard. He laughed to himself at the imagery that Sanchez has placed in his head, "That must be Paco."

The front door opened – apparently it was Darius' mother. "Hello, you must be Darius' friend, Bobby — come in, come in. I'm Inez, Darius' mother. He should be out of the shower in a couple of minutes."

"Yes, Rob– Bobby Goren," Bobby said, offering his hand to the lady. "I, umm, I have my boy in the car — I'll just wait here by the door so I can keep an eye on him."

Mrs. Sanchez returned to her chair.

"On, on second thought," Bobby said, pointing down the hall, finger wagging, "Do you mind...I stayed in your spare bedroom last night — I just wanna' double check that I didn't leave anything behind."

"Oh, go ahead, dear."

Bobby headed down the hallway to the spare bedroom.

xxxxxxxxx

Meanwhile, back in New York...

Alex stood in the doorway to Deakins' office. He looked up from his paperwork, "What's up?"

"It's ten after five and we haven't heard a peep from him all day!"

Deakins double-checked his watch. "No news is good news," he smirked as he reminded her, but he understood her anxiety.

"Why don't we give him a call?" the Captain suggested, already picking up his phone without waiting for her answer.

Alex closed the door and half-sat on the corner of Deakins' desk. She watched as he dialed Bobby's cell number and pressed the 'speaker phone' button. The line began ringing.

xxxxxxxxx

The ringing of the phone startled 'Berto for a moment. He looked down at Bobby's phone laying on the console, unsure whether he should answer it, ignore it or run inside and get Bobby. Curious, as children are, he decided to answer.

"Hello?"

Deakins and Alex exchanged a surprised smile at the sound of the little voice.

"Hello!" the Captain said. "Who's this?" he asked. Alex noticed the twinkle of teasing in his eyes. They _knew_ who it was.

"I'm not allowed to tell my name to strangers," 'Berto firmly answered.

Jimmy and Alex stifled their laughter, both thinking the same thing: "This kid is gonna' turn out to be a piece of work, just like his old man."

Alex interceded, thinking that the sound of a female voice might be less threatening to the boy.

"Hi! My name is Alex," she said with a smile. "I'm your daddy's partner at work."

"Miss Eames?" the little voice said.

"Yes, Alex Eames," she answered, looking at the Captain, smiling.

"Who was that man?"

Deakins and Alex laughed at the skeptical sounding voice. He already sounded like a detective.

"That was my Captain — your daddy's boss, Captain Deakins."

The line was quiet for a moment, while 'Berto absorbed the information. Bobby had told 'Berto all about his partner and Captain earlier in the afternoon, as they walked along the beach.

"Well, you're not strangers, then. Daddy said I can call you 'Aunt Alex' and 'Uncle Jimmy'."

"Hi, it's Uncle Jimmy," Deakins said with a huge grin. "It's nice to talk to you, Roberto. Is your dad there?"

"He's inside Mr. Sanchez' house. He'll be out in a minute, then we're going back to my house 'cause Grandpa's cooking on the bar-b-que and daddy's gonna' play basketball with me, and when it gets dark, we're gonna' bring my telescope to the beach and daddy's gonna' show me and mommy all the constellations he knows."

"Well, that sounds like a lot of fun, Roberto," Alex said with amusement, realizing that the kid was a chatterbox once he got started — just like someone else she knew.

"Can you ask your dad to call me later, Roberto?"

"Yes, ma'am. It was nice talking to you."

xxxxxxxx

The call disconnected. Alex looked at Deakins, "Sounds like everything is going great." She was more than happy for Bobby and loved hearing little Roberto on the phone, but still couldn't wait to hear from Bobby–first hand–later that night with all the juicy details.

"Yeah," Deakins answered pensively, shuffling some papers on his desk. "I can't wait to get home and fill Cathy in on all this."

xxxxxxxxx

The family enjoyed a delicious but casual dinner and Carlos, Bobby and 'Berto played around shooting hoops while the women cleared the table, did the dishes and served dessert. Bobby had offered to help, but Rosa would hear nothing of it. As promised, after dark Bobby and Maria took 'Berto to the beach with his telescope. They brought a couple of blankets; one to sit on and one to keep warm from the cool evening air. They spent almost two hours talking and looking at the stars, 'Berto soaking in all the knowledge that Bobby could impart on him. Somehow, to the couple, it felt as if they _had_ been a family for years. It was hard for either of them to believe that they had all just been reunited earlier that morning. It all just felt so right.

Rosa and Carlos walked over the small sand dune onto the beach. 'Berto immediately beckoned them to come look through his telescope, repeating to them all the information from Bobby that he could remember.

"Berto, it's chilly out here, and it's getting late."

"Awww, grandma," he fussed.

" 'Berto, you know better than to argue with your grandmother. It's past your bedtime already."

"C'mon, honey," Rosa said, "Give mommy and daddy a kiss good-night. Grandma will get you tucked in."

Roberto reluctantly walked towards Bobby and Maria Elena, "All right," he pouted. He kissed both his parents and hugged them. "Good night, Mommy, g'night Daddy."

"Good night, buddy," Bobby said kissing the boy's cheek. "I'll peek in on ya' later."

"But you'll be here in the morning when I wake up, right?"

Bobby smiled, crossing his heart, "I promise."

The coupled watched as 'Berto and his grandparents walked back to the house.

While it was true that it was getting chilly and it was way past Roberto's bed time, Maria Elena also knew that her parents wanted to afford some 'alone time' to Bobby and herself. Bobby took full advantage, wrapping the spare blanket around himself, then wrapping his arms around Maria in a cozy embrace, as he began kissing her and pulling her down to the blanket on the sand.

It was the way he had remembered their kisses of years ago; it was the way he had dreamed of kissing her for the past twelve years. And now, she was here, in his arms. Each lingering kiss, each touch of warm, soft lips and tongue only increased their yearning and passion. The only words exchanged were their breathless, whispered vows of love for one another. The burning desire in his heart –and his loins– quickly displaced all sensible thoughts from his mind, as he realized his hand was now under Maria's shirt, caressing her soft, ample breasts. He pulled his mouth away from hers, gazing into her eyes –looking for an answer: 'Was this okay, or did she want him to stop.' She removed one arm from around his neck, her hand traveling downward, deftly undoing his jeans and caressing his erection, as she kissed him more hungrily than before and he returned her kiss, just as passionately. He had his answer.

They once again consummated their relationship and their love for one another, amidst the sound of crashing waves, under the velvety black starlit sky. It was more perfect than Bobby had ever dreamed.

Afterwards, he held her in his arms, kissing her forehead, their eyes dreamily closed from the satiating pleasure of their release.

"I love you so much," she whispered into the warmth of his chest.

He kissed her head again, "I love you — so much I can't even describe it. I'm...so happy."

Maria giggled, "You know, you told me that once before."

He let out a breathy chuckle. "I know — but it's still true," he said, kissing her head again.

"D'you remember what happened the last time?" she questioned him playfully.

Bobby nodded and pulled her even closer. If he could've squeezed her any tighter, it felt as if he would absorb her right through his skin, into his heart. "Mmmm-mmm...I remember. Your mother just put him to bed."

END Chapter Eleven


	12. Chapter 12

1**A/N: Just a renewal of my Disclaimer and a big "Thank You" for Mr. Wolf, for sharing.**

**Also, big "Thanks" to the faithful reviewers– you know who you are. I'm thinking that one more chapter might wrap this up. I appreciate your comments and encouragement thus far.**

_**Finding My Son, Finding Myself**_

**Chapter Twelve**

Bobby and Maria Elena tiptoed up the porch steps, feeling conspicuous, like teenagers sneaking home past curfew. He quickly deposited the blankets and 'Berto's telescope in the foyer and followed Maria to the bedroom. She turned and smiled as Bobby entered the room, quietly closing the door behind him. "Here," she said, handing him a folded sheet of paper, " 'Berto left you a note."

Bobby paused for a moment to look at the handwriting, "To: Daddy." He opened it and read. "I've gotta' go back outside for a little while."

"Why? What's wrong?" Maria asked.

"No, nothing's wrong. My, ummm, partner called this afternoon. Roberto forgot to tell me. She's umm, been waiting for a call back all night. I'm just gonna' go out on the porch and call her back.

"Bobby, it's almost one in the morning!"

"I know --- Eames is used to it, don't worry."

"Okay. But don't be too long," she teased, turning her back and slowly wriggling out of her jeans. She glanced back over her shoulder and gave him a wink. It had been dark on the beach, both of them protected from the chill of the night air, hidden under a heavy blanket; their earlier union sparked by emotions and touch, alone. But here in the light, the _visual_ imagery of Maria Elena's slow 'strip tease' now fueled a different type of desire in Bobby—a primal one, driven by lust.

"I won't be," he assured her, as he watched her tan, nude body slip beneath the covers.

_**Meanwhile, back in NYC**_

Alex had spent a quiet evening at home, catching up on a pile of mail that had accumulated, fixing herself a light supper and settling in to watch some TV. Her phone rang only once; it was her sister, inviting her to lunch and to do some shopping on Saturday. She found herself dozing on and off during The Tonight Show and decided shortly after midnight to go to bed. There was still a chance that Bobby would call – it wasn't out of the ordinary for her phone to ring in the middle of the night. The tiredness that had been overtaking her on the couch had somehow passed and she now found herself laying awake, stealing glances at the clock every so often; her imagination conjuring up different scenarios about how Bobby's day actually went and what he was doing now. She kept remembering the little boy's voice on the phone earlier that day – how happy and excited he sounded. Alex was happy for him and for Bobby, but realized she already missed him. Friday's were "their" nights– at Carucci's for after-work drinks, then back to Alex's for a Ray's pepperoni and onion pizza, usually accompanied by a weird movie of Bobby's selection and talks that lasted late into the night. The feeling in her gut told her that, obviously, those nights would be coming to an end.

The ring of the phone startled Alex for a moment but, unless she was being called in on a new case, there was only one other person who would ring her phone at the late hour. She smiled as she picked up the receiver.

"Hello."

"Hi, it's me."

"I figured. Who else would call me at one in the morning," she said, teasing him.

"I, I know, I-I'm sorry. I, umm, just got your message."

"Don't worry about it. So, _tell me_! How's everything going? He _sounds_ adorable!"

"It…it's been a great day – better than I could've hoped for. Maria's done a great job raising him—he, he just took to me like I've been here all his life…"

"And what about the parents, or Maria Elena? Anybody give you a hard time?"

She heard Bobby's breathy chuckle and, knowing his quick wit and sense of humor, she imagined how he had twisted her innocent question into something risque.

"Don't bother answering that one," she warned him. "I was just wondering if everyone's getting along."

He was still chuckling, "Well, then, yes—we're all getting along just fine."

"Where _are_ you?"

"I'm out on the porch. Everybody's in bed."

"So now what?"

"What do you mean?"

"What's next? When are you coming home? Are they coming back to New York with you?"

"I, umm, I don't know. I'm gonna' have to talk to the Captain… I'm gonna' be here a while longer—'Berto's counting on me for umm, for this father/son thing at school next Friday night. Besides, w-w-we umm, haven't talked about that yet."

Alex had been listening closely and thought to herself, "that sentence had a lot of 'umms' and he's stuttering. He's nervous." She let him get away with the answer – mainly because it was too late at night to get involved in _that_ conversation, which seemed more suited to a face-to-face talk than one over the phone, anyway. Bobby could lie to anybody, except her – she knew him too well. There was no way that he would leave his boy behind, so, if Maria Elena and Roberto weren't coming back to New York, that left Bobby no choice.

"Well, I just wanted to make sure you were all right. I won't keep you – it's late."

"I'll c-call you tomorrow, wh-when we have more time to talk, okay?"

"Okay. Oh, Bobby, I'll be out to lunch and shopping with my sister, so try me at night, okay?"

"Okay, I will. Eames? G'good night."

"G'night, Bobby."

Alex hung up the phone and settled back into her pillow, realizing how the ripple effect of Bobby's life changes could soon be making waves in her own.

_**Meanwhile, back in Dorado, Puerto Rico**_

Bobby flipped his phone closed and took a deep breath, inhaling the cool, fragrant night air. The Coqui had been 'singing' for hours – he paused to listen for a moment before he headed back inside. Remembering his promise to peek in on his son before he went to bed, he walked softly down the hallway and slowly opened the door, to find the boy sleeping peacefully. As he turned back down the hallway and saw the dim light filtering out from under Maria's bedroom door, the image she had planted in his mind instantly returned. He anxiously entered the room, only to find her sound asleep, as well. He undressed and gingerly climbed under the covers, so as not to disturb her, and turned off the small lamp. He convinced himself that he should be content to just _be there_, next to her. As he laid in the darkness, recounting all the wonderful experiences of his day, he felt Maria stir. He heard her fumbling with the switch and the dim light once again illuminated the room in a romantic amber hue. He truly felt bad for disturbing her – waking her.

Maria Elena turned towards Bobby, propped up on one elbow, a sly smile overtaking her beautiful full lips. "I thought you liked to watch."

Bobby smiled as he leaned in to kiss her. It was an invitation he'd _never_ decline.

_**Saturday Morning**_

Bobby was roused by the sounds of Rosa Vasquez in the kitchen and the wonderful aromas of the breakfast she was cooking. As consciousness overtook him, he became aware of the warmth of Maria Elena lying next to him, her head resting on his chest. He absentmindedly began stroking her hair, planting little kisses on the top of her head. He wanted to check the time on the clock, but didn't want to disturb her, so he gauged the hour of morning by the angle of the sun which was hazily filtering through the shade. "Must be close to nine," he surmised, giving in to his still-sleepy eyelids as they closed.

They had stayed up well into the morning, having _so much_ to catch up on and discuss. Bobby wanted to get everything out in the open – he didn't want any secrets clouding this new beginning– so he told Maria everything. Everything about his life and career over the past twelve years; everything about his best friend and partner, Alex and how she 'grounded' him; everything about his family history, including the medical history. He even told, at her insistence, about the circumstances of the demise of her brother, Benjamin – both of them agreeing that, for the good of her parents, they didn't need to know the grizzly details. They alternated between making love and making plans, finally succumbing to the exhaustion of their pleasure sometime after 4:00 a.m.

Bobby listened as Rosa walked by their room towards 'Berto's room – she was calling him for breakfast. Maria awoke with a yawn and a stretch, as Bobby felt his own stomach grumble for food.

"You _should_ be hungry," she teased him. "You must've worked up quite an appetite," she smiled as they kissed 'good morning.'

"Maybe I'll have another serving of _you_," he playfully teased back, kissing her this time with more purpose. Covering himself with the sheet, he rolled on top of her, supporting himself with his elbows while soulfully kissing her, pressing his hardness against her warm, smooth thighs.

xxxxxxxx

Roberto sat at the kitchen table, a broad smile on his face. "Good morning, Grandpa."

"Well, good morning to you!" he exclaimed, taking another sip of his coffee.

Rosa served 'Berto his plate. "That's quite a grin for so early in the morning; you're usually a sleepyhead," she commented.

"My Dad's still here," he answered, before taking a fork full of his scrambled eggs.

"Well, of course he's still here. He promised you last night that he would be, didn't he?"

"Yes — but I just hadda' make sure." His eyes widened, "They were _kissing_."

"'Berto! You went in your mother's room? Did you knock?"

"No, ma'am," he answered sheepishly. "I didn't wanna' knock and wake them up if they were sleeping, so I just peeked to make sure he was there."

"'Berto. There'll be no more of that. I know you know about respecting peoples' privacy. Your Mommy and Daddy need to spend some time alone – they haven't seen each other in a long, long time."

"Yes, ma'am," he pouted "I won't do it again."

"Good boy," Carlos said from behind his newspaper.

Rosa felt bad for having to reprimand her grandson; she didn't want to spoil his happiness –having him start out his day in trouble– but such an infraction couldn't go unnoticed, either. She was convinced that he had learned his lesson so, as she filled his orange juice glass she bent and kissed his head, whispering, " 'Berto?"

"Yes, Grandma?"

She smiled and spoke softly in his little ear, "I'm glad they were kissing."

Her Grandson's smile returned.

xxxxxxx

Bobby and Maria Elena laid in the warmth of the sunlight, like spoons cuddling. He reveled in the closeness of the feeling, both in body and heart. It was the feeling that John Tagman had longed for — yearned for so desperately that he had killed and maimed for it. Bobby quickly shook the thought from his head, amazed at how the dark images of his job somehow always managed to slip through.

"I don't think I can move," Maria groaned. "I haven't felt this...well, _this_ in ages."

"You'll feel better after a hot shower," Bobby said, kissing and smelling her hair. He grabbed the bedspread around him and swung his legs over the side of the bed, "But first..." He left his sentence unfinished as he bent on the floor over his luggage.

Maria raised herself up on one elbow, watching Bobby. He climbed back onto the bed, still clutching the blanket around him, but freeing his left hand to caress her face.

His sparkling brown eyes looked into hers of tawny gold, "Maria Elena Vasquez. I've never loved anyone but you. I never stopped loving you – even for the past twelve years while we were apart – there was never room for _anyone_ else in my heart. I'm gonna' continue loving you all the days of my life."

Her heart started racing, her breaths became more shallow. His hand left her cheek, but his eyes stayed connected with hers. He held the _Tiffany's_ box before her.

"I bought this twelve years ago and made the mistake of not giving it to you. I'm not going to make that mistake again. The way I feel right now – here with you and our son — there's only one thing that could make it more perfect..."

"Oh, Bobby..." the whisper could barely escape from her throat.

"And that's if you say you'll be my wife –and be with me 'til my dying day."

He opened the box to reveal the ring – a brilliant white solitaire diamond, two carats in size, with baguettes on either side, set in platinum. It was absolutely breathtaking in its beauty.

Joyful tears streamed down her cheeks as her smile beamed at him, "Yes, oh Bobby, yes, yes, yes, she repeated, leaning forward to kiss and hug him. "I love _you_, I love you _so much_."

He wrapped her in a hug, then pulled away, reaching for her left hand, "Let me put it on you," he said, removing the ring from the velvet and satin case and sliding it on her finger. "It looks _more_ beautiful 'cause it's on _your_ hand."

She looked down at her hand, now adorned with the symbol of her his love for her. The brilliant stone captured the rays of sunlight as she tilted her hand, admiring it from all angles.

"Look," Bobby said, pointing to the rainbow prism dancing across the room.

Maria Elena smiled and grabbed him back into a hug. "Didn't I tell you rainbows were good luck?"

END Chapter Twelve


	13. Chapter 13

1**A/N: Thanks to the Reviewers! You've been great! **

_**Finding My Son, Finding Myself**_

**Chapter Thirteen**

Roberto had finished his breakfast and, upon hearing his mother's bedroom door open, asked to be excused from the table. He hurried down the hall, anxious to see his father, and softly knocked on the ajar door. Bobby, who had decided to just throw on a pair of sweats and a tee-shirt for breakfast, was sitting on the corner of the bed and greeted him with a smile.

"Good morning, 'Berto," he exclaimed, wrapping him into a hug and kiss. "How's my boy today?"

"I'm well," he smiled, hugging Bobby in return. "Where's mommy?"

"She's in the shower already. I let her go first, 'cause I'm hungry – I wanted to eat first."

"I ate already – Grandma cooked breakfast."

"Well, it smells delicious. You wanna' keep me company while I eat?"

'Berto nodded, taking Bobby by the hand as he rose from the bed and headed for the kitchen.

Carlos greeted Bobby with a smile, peering over his newspaper. "Good morning, Robert. Sleep well?"

"Yes, thank you," Bobby answered. The gleam in Carlos' eyes didn't go unnoticed. His father-in-law to be knew that Bobby had, indeed, had a good night.

Rosa served Bobby a hot mug of coffee, kissing his cheek as she bent to place the cup on the table. "Good morning, Robert."

"G'morning, Mom."

"You hungry, honey? What can I get you for breakfast?"

It almost made Bobby feel uncomfortable – he wasn't used to be waited on. "Um, whatever you cooked this morning smelled great." He wasn't picky.

"Okay, bacon and eggs and pancakes... how would you like your eggs?"

"Umm, over easy, if that's okay."

"Of course it's okay, sweetie. Whatever you want," she said with a smile, heading for the stove. "Do you want your pancakes plain, or with blueberries — or I have some chocolate chips," Rosa offered.

"Blu-blueberry would be great, thanks." Bobby's thoughts wandered as he took a sip of his coffee, "so, this is what it feels like to be part of a normal family." It was a feeling of love —one of comfort and security that he'd never known. It made him happy to know that his own son had experienced it all his young life.

Maria Elena appeared in the kitchen, saying 'good morning' to the family. She stood behind Bobby's chair, bending to kiss and whisper an 'I love you' in his ear, as she wrapped her arms around his broad shoulders.

Roberto looked on; his parents' happiness reflected in his face. "Mommy!"

Rosa turned from the stove, startled, " 'Berto! You yelled so loud, you scared me," she laughed.

"Look, Grandma!" he exclaimed, pointing at his mother, "Mommy got a wedding ring!"

Carlos lowered the paper and Rosa turned from the stove as she took the frypan from the burner. The facets of the brilliant stone reflected little sparks of light about the room.

Rosa rushed to her daughter, "Oh, sweetheart – congratulations! Let me see!" 'Berto looked on, as well, as Maria explained it was an 'engagement' ring – that they weren't married, _yet_.

Mr. Vasquez got up to shake Bobby's hand and kiss his daughter. "Congratulations, Robert, congratulations, sweetheart," he said, with tears of happiness welling up in his eyes.

_Narration:_

_It was a day that Carlos Vasquez feared would never come. He and Rosa had spent the past twelve years caring for their daughter during her pregnancy, watching and helping her raise her child as a single mother – almost pitying her – afraid that she was living under the delusion of truly having had a love affair, (rather than merely being a pawn in a Police Department charade and carelessly becoming pregnant), and an even greater delusion that she would some day be reunited with 'Berto's father. _

_Had it not been for the fact that Maria Elena had seemed so "normal" in the other areas of her life, like continuing her education, earning excellent grades and having the initiative to go into business for herself, as she had always dreamed, Carlos and Rosa would have seriously considered whether or not she was "in touch" with reality. They would have wondered if their daughter's heart or mind had been broken so badly that the reality of her situation was too horrible to bear, leaving her destined to a fantasy — the dream of a life that would never be fulfilled. _

_When 'Berto was a toddler, Carlos and Rosa had a long talk with Maria, trying to convince her that she should get on with her life – begin dating, try to find a husband and a father figure for her son. They assured her that she was beautiful and intelligent – a great catch for any man. Her only reply was to thank them for their concern and explain to them how she felt about Robert O. Goren: that he was the love of her life and that no one else could compare. She would rather remain single than settle for second best. When her mother persisted, Maria Elena had merely asked: "Mom, can you imagine yourself being married to anyone other than Dad?" Her mother smiled – she now understood. The subject was never brought up again. _

Bobby, Maria Elena and Roberto spent the remainder of the day walking and having a picnic lunch on the beach, playing frisbee and going for a bike ride around the neighborhood, relishing the togetherness of their little family. Rosa Vasquez spent much of the day calling their relatives, spreading the happy news of her daughter's engagement, formally (but informally, since there wasn't time for mailing) inviting them to attend the small wedding ceremony and reception that was to take place on the beach the following Sunday. The couple had decided that they wanted an informal, intimate ceremony – just family and the closest of friends.

As the family sat relaxing on the porch with some fresh-made lemonade late in the afternoon, it occurred to Bobby that Sanchez was due to fly back to New York. He felt bad that he hadn't called Darius to thank him, again, for all his help, so he reached for his phone and dialed.

"Hello?"

"Sanchez, it's Goren."

"Hey man, how's it goin'?"

"Good – really good. I, umm, I wanted to call you before – I forgot you were flying out today."

"No problem - I'm outside LaGuardia now, waiting for a cab."

"Well, I just wanted to say 'thanks' again for all your help – and hospitality."

"Any time, man — hey, gotta' go...I caught a ride."

"Okay – I'll call ya' soon."

Bobby knew he had a few calls he had to make, thinking to himself, "most important, Alex, and Lewis and Deakins and — oh, what the heck, Carver too — and Morris... I should see if Morris wants to come." He asked Maria Elena the time, trying to speculate on what time Alex would be home from her lunch and shopping expedition. "It's too bad my friend Darius flew back today – he probably would've liked to come – he's a fun guy."

"C'mon, honey," Rosa said to 'Berto, come inside and give Grandma a hand getting dinner ready."

Carlos stood up from his chair, as well. "I'll give you a hand, too, honey." The three of them went into the house, leaving Bobby and Maria Elena alone on the porch. Bobby got up from his seat and joined Maria Elena on the swing, putting his arm around her.

"I-I'm sorry – that was insensitive – I wasn't thinking." As soon as the words had left his mouth about inviting Sanchez he regretted it. "How could I have been so callous?" he asked himself.

She nuzzled into him, kissing his cheek. "It's okay, Sweetheart. Didn't I tell you last night that I understand? If your friend Sanchez hadn't been there – well, then Benny would've killed you and you wouldn't be here with 'Berto and me. It's not your fault, it's not Sanchez' fault — and after knowing what Benny was going to do to me and our baby twelve years ago..." her voice trailed off.

Bobby hugged her tighter.

"Sweetie," she continued, "if you want to have your friend at our wedding, you go right ahead and invite him. I owe him, too, for saving your life — and it's like we discussed – we won't tell mom and dad about any of the details — everything will be fine."

"Thanks," Bobby said, kissing her and squeezing her even tighter, "If you're sure it's all right."

"I'm sure," she answered, returning the kiss.

"I, I have to call Alex – she _has to_ be here" Bobby said, reaching for his phone.

xxxxxxxx

_**Meanwhile, back in NY**_

Alex was out of breath from climbing the stairs with all her packages. Frustrated as she fumbled with her keys as she heard the ringing phone from inside her apartment, she quickly pushed the door open, dropped her shopping bags and grabbed the receiver, teasingly cursing Bobby out under her breath, "Didn't I tell you not to call me 'til night?"

"Hello," she said, catching her breath.

"Hey, I'm flattered — I didn't plan on leaving you breathless 'til later," came the sexy voice from the other end of the line.

"Sanchez, don't you ever quit?" she said with a smile.

"I'm in a cab on the way home – my plane just landed."

"Did you see Bobby before you left?"

"I saw him yesterday afternoon when he brought my car back – he had the kid with him."

The thought made Alex smile. "So, I guess he's doing all right."

"Yeah – he seemed really happy. It's kinda' weird, ya' know? Seeing him...and then this littler version of him."

"I can't wait," Alex answered.

"Yeah, well enough about Goren. I'm callin' you to collect on your debt."

Alex rolled her eyes.

"I wanna' take you out tonight. You free?"

"Well, I just got in – I've been out all day, I'm kinda' beat..."

"It's only 5:30 – why don't you rest up a bit and I'll pick ya' up at eight."

Alex let out a sigh, hoping that Sanchez hadn't heard it. "A promise is a promise," she thought to herself. "I might as well get it over with."

"Okay, eight is good."

"Eight it is, pretty lady. Lemme' jot down your address."

Alex gave him the info and asked, "What are we doing? What should I wear?"

"Ahh,"

She could almost hear his grin over the phone.

"Something...ummm, feminine — no 'cop' clothes, okay?"

"Okay. I'll see you later."Alex hung up the phone, regretting what she had gotten herself into.

xxxxxx

_**Meanwhile, back in Puerto Rico**_

Bobby shoved his phone back into his pocket with a sigh.

"What's the matter, baby?"

"Nothin' ...umm, Alex didn't answer her cell – it went straight to voice mail. I got her voice mail at home, too."

"Well, you can try back later," she smiled. "C'mon – it's time to eat."

The Vasquez/Goren family sat around the dinner table, excitedly talking about the wedding plans and all the little details that needed to be taken care of during the week, before the ceremony.

"Don't worry, Mom," Maria Elena reassured her mother, "Bobby and I are going first thing Monday for our blood tests and license — and we can talk to Father Perez after Mass tomorrow to see if he'll officiate for us — 'Berto, pass the rice and beans, please."

"Bobby, you want a beer?" Carlos offered.

"Sure, thanks."

"You eat, honey," Rosa said to her husband as she got up from the table, "I'll get them."

"I already talked to your Aunt Maria and Uncle Julio," Carlos continued. He turned to look at Bobby, as he informed him, "They have a restaurant and party supply business downtown – everything's taken care of."

"And cousin Isabel is taking care of the flowers," Rosa informed them, as she served Carlos and Bobby their beer.

"And Daddy said I could hold the rings," 'Berto chimed in, "Right, Dad?"

"That's right," Bobby smiled, "Your gonna' be my little best man."

The family relaxed and enjoyed the rest of the evening. Bobby kept an eye on the time every now and again and attempted, unsuccessfully, two more times to get through to Eames. A worrisome knot began forming in his stomach when, at 11:30 p.m. there was still no answer at either her apartment or cell numbers.

_**Meanwhile, back in NY (12:10 a.m.)**_

_** Serendipity II**_

"Thank you," Sanchez said, as the waitress placed the humongous portion of Frozen Hot Chocolate and some extra napkins on the table between he and Alex.

Her eyes grew wide at the size of the serving. "I can't believe all the time I've lived in the City and I've never made it here for dessert."

"I can't believe it, either," Darius said. "This place is famous — and part of the reason is for this dessert right here!" he attested. "Don't be shy – dig in."

"Yeah, just what my butt needs," Alex joked, "Ten thousand calories after midnight."

Darius laughed, "We danced off _at least_ that tonight – besides...umm, never mind – I've managed to be a gentleman so far, so I'll keep my opinion about your butt to myself —for now."

Alex smiled, "Well, since you brought it up — I've gotta' tell you I'm pleasantly surprised. This night and...well, _you_, it's been nothing like what I expected.

"Really?" Darius questioned with a smile. "Well, you, my dear lady – you've been _just what_ I expected– or hoped for, anyway. I'm having a wonderful time."

"Me too," Alex replied, holding her eye contact with him. "You're umm, very different than when you're around the guys."

"I know – I, I don't know why I'm like that – it's just _me_."

"I'm sure Bobby could give you a full psychological analysis on your behavior," she laughed, but then suddenly remembered to herself, "Bobby was supposed to call me tonight."

Darius saw the look on her face and asked, "What's wrong? You just remember you left the iron on at home or something?"

"It's Bobby - I told him to call me tonight."

"So call him," Darius said.

"Now? Here?"

"Sure, why not?"

" 'Cause I don't talk on my cell in the middle of a restaurant — I don't wanna' ruin the night by getting 'dirty' looks from the other customers."

"Okay, but once we're back in the car you can call."

Alex and Darius talked and finished their dessert, leaving the restaurant just before 1:00 a.m. She already had her cell phone out, while Darius saw that she was seated and closed the car door, taking care not to catch the hem of her dress. By the time he walked around the car and got in, Bobby's number was already ringing.

"Hey, sorry it's so late," she apologized.

"I, I tried calling a few times – I was getting worried," Bobby said, and Alex could sense the relief in his voice.

"I, I, I need to talk to you, Eames – Al-Alex."

"Is everything all right? You sound nervous."

"Everything's great, except I umm, I'm nervous that you won't be able to make it down here next weekend."

Alex's eyebrows raised, in both surprise and question to the comment. She looked across the front seat at Darius. Before she could even ask, Bobby answered.

"We, we're getting married on Sunday, Alex. I, I _need_ you to be here." He waited for her reply, almost holding his breath.

"Well, congratulations! Of course I'll be there, Bobby, I wouldn't miss this for the world!" She smiled at Darius again.

She heard his sigh of relief. "Thanks – I, I really appreciate it. It'd be great if you could get here earlier, ya' know...like maybe Friday."

"Don't worry, I'll get there. I'll call ya' and let you know my flight arrangements as soon as I make 'em, okay?"

"An-and the Captain, and Mr. Carver and Morris – I've gotta' call them — and Lewis...oh, geez, and Sanchez...I've gotta' call 'em all tomorrow."

"Well," she smiled, "You can cross Sanchez off your list – I'll tell him right now."

The line was silent for a moment. "You-you're there with Sanchez?"

"Uh-huh. Remember, I owed him a dinner date... hold on a sec while I tell him everything.

Alex filled Darius in and got back on the phone, "You can count him in," she happily announced.

"Great – I'll umm, I'll call all the others tomorrow and, umm, I'll call you at home so you can tell me about how your night went — you're all right, right?"

"Fine," she assured him. I'll talk to you later."

"G'night Eames."

xxxxxxxx

_**Back in Dorado, Puerto Rico**_

Maria Elena could sense his relief as he ended his phone call.

"So, she's coming?"

Bobby nodded, with a big smile, "Yes. She said she wouldn't miss it."

"Good! I can't wait to meet her... and all your friends," she said, hugging and kissing him, as they settled into bed.

xxxxxxxx

_**...and Back in NY**_

Sanchez pulled the car into the "no parking" zone in front of Alex's apartment, just three feet away from the fire hydrant. She glanced at him with a smirk, "I didn't know my date was a scofflaw."

"So," he said, turning the engine off and turning to face her, "Don't you think my idea is a good one?"

"Well, it's practical, anyway," she teased him.

"Then just say yes."

She gave him a skeptical look. Thoughts raced through her mind: "Why am I reluctant?" She didn't know. "Is it just force of habit? Playing hard-to-get?" Then it hit her: "I really like this guy — we had a great time — he's not really a macho jerk, the way he comes off when he's around the guys — actually, he's very sweet —and polite, respectful — and okay...damn it...he's _handsome_, too. Finally, she convinced herself. Maybe it was because of all the love and romance in the air with Bobby's good fortune – so "Why not?"

"Okay, yes," she said with a still slightly nervous smile.

"Great, then it's settled," he smiled. "I'll get our tickets with my frequent flyer miles– we'll fly out Friday– you can stay at folks' house —and you'll be my date for the wedding. The whole trip won't cost you a thing."

"Thanks, Dar," she said with a smile, followed by an awkward moment of silence as their eyes met – staying locked on each others for a few seconds past the point of comfortable.

"Let me walk you to your door," he offered. He exited the car, going around to the passenger side to open the door for her. He gently took her hand, assisting her out of the car. They slowly climbed the stairway to the front door of her building. Alex was about to turn to thank him for the lovely evening, but he spoke first. "No, all the way — to your front door. I wanna' make sure you get in safely."

The caution and courtesy immediately reminded Alex of Bobby – he always insisted the same.

They went inside and climbed the two flights of steps to Alex's apartment, Darius gently escorting her by the elbow. Upon reaching and unlocking her apartment door, she turned.

"Thank you, Darius. I had a really nice time," she said with a smile.

"Thank _you_, lovely lady. The pleasure was all mine. I had a wonderful evening, as well."

Alex looked up into his brown eyes, still unable to keep the thoughts racing through her head: "I can't believe this is the same guy I hated last Friday in the MCU and Carucci's." A smile at the thought crossed her lips.

"What's so funny?" he asked, resting a forearm on the door jam, leaning closer into Alex.

"I was just thinking — how different you are than what I expected."

"I guess that's a good thing," he joked — "I like the way you're looking at me tonight better than those sneers you were giving me last week," he said with a smile.

"It's definitely a good thing," she nodded, still smiling.

"May I?" he leaned over even closer. He gazed into her eyes, but still held back a few inches from her face. "I usually don't kiss 'good night' on the first date." He waited with an anxious breath for her reply.

She paused for a moment, studying his face; the piercing brown eyes looked so familiar; the straight nose, strong jaw line, the cutest little dimple on his chin ...and one on his left cheek, when he smiled; soft-looking lips–not to thin–not too full—just right for kissing.

"Neither do I. Yes, you may."

END Chapter Thirteen

**I thought that "13" would be the end, but it just didn't happen that way...so, it looks like there will be one more. I've "written" three different endings in my head, but have yet to commit them to paper. One is happy, one is sad and the other is a mixture. Maybe a review vote will decide or maybe I'll just go with my "gut" feeling.**

**Blucougar, I already know what you want! ;-) **


	14. Chapter 14

1**A/N: THANK YOU TO ALL THE REVIEWERS. THIS IS THE FINALCHAPTER.**

_**Finding My Son, Finding Myself**_

**Chapter Fourteen**

The family arose early Sunday morning, quickly having coffee and pastries before heading off for Mass at 9:00 a.m. At the conclusion of the service, Maria Elena, holding Bobby's hand, approached Father Perez. He knew Maria Elena's personal history, having counseled her from time to time over the years, just as a sympathetic ear when she needed someone other than her parents to talk to about things. He knew the Vasquez family well and had even Baptized and given 'Berto his First Communion.

The priest looked curiously at the couple as they drew nearer. In all those years, he had never seen Maria Elena in the company of a man — and then he saw Bobby's face – and eyes; and then he saw her beaming smile– and he knew that this was Roberto's father.

"Good morning, Father," she smiled.

"Good morning, Maria Elena, Rosa, Carlos, 'Berto," he said with a smile and a nod. He was still looking at Bobby's face. He couldn't believe the resemblance.

"Father, I'd like you to meet Robert."

Bobby extended his hand to the priest, "It's nice to meet you, Father."

"It's a pleasure meeting you," he replied, as he shook Bobby's hand; his eyes shifting back and forth between the faces of father and son. He then looked at Maria Elena, seeking confirmation, "This is _your_ Robert?"

"Yes," she said, her smile even brighter than before, " 'Berto's Daddy, _my_ Robert."

The priest turned his attention back towards Bobby, "It's wonderful to finally meet you, Robert; Maria Elena has told me so much about you."

Maria informed Bobby, "Father Perez knows our whole story, sweetie," she then extended her left hand, showing the priest her bejeweled ring finger.

"Congratulations," he offered, kissing her cheek and shaking Bobby's hand once again.

"Father, Bobby and I are getting married next Sunday. We're hoping that you're available..."

"We'd love for you to do the ceremony, Father," Rosa interjected, looking on lovingly towards the couple, "They want to get married on the beach — at sunset."

"I'm glad you said 'sunset' 'cause I have a three o'clock wedding already scheduled," he said, placing a reassurance hand on Rosa's shoulder.

"I'd be honored to perform your ceremony," he said with a smile, looking at the happy little boy standing between his happier looking parents. "I'll call you during the week for the details. I've gotta' get running now – don't want to be late for my hospital visits."

"Thank you, Father Perez," they said collectively.

xxxxxxx

The family headed back to the house. Rosa and Maria Elena were going to fix a more substantial breakfast for the family and Bobby needed to begin making his phone calls.

Alex had been number one on his list, but she already knew — and so did Sanchez. Bobby reminded himself to call her again to see how her dinner date _really_ went.

So, his best friend, Lewis was moved up to 'first' call on the list. When Bobby told Lewis that he was getting married the following Sunday, of course Lewis thought he was kidding. _Until_ Bobby told him to _whom,_ _and_ that he had an 11 year old son. Lewis was Bobby's life-long friend, since childhood. He was there for Bobby when he went through the terrible ordeal of losing Maria Elena twelve years earlier. He had never seen his friend so devastated or depressed and as the years passed, it was more than a sore subject with Bobby — it was a totally _forbidden_ subject and "to never mention it again" had become the only rule of their friendship. Obviously, Lewis wouldn't miss this happiest of moments in his best buddy's life.

Bobby then spoke with Captain Deakins, who insisted on putting Cathy on the line, as well. They were surprised at the suddenness – but pleasantly so and very happy for Bobby. The ordeal that they had been through brought a new level of closeness to their friendship. They assured him that they would be in attendance, as did Ron and Debbie Carver and Dave and Nancy Morris.

The family spent a quite Sunday together, making last-minute plans. The day flew by and, at 9:00 p.m. Maria Elena interrupted Bobby and 'Berto's Play Station game, " 'Berto, time to stop playing, honey – take your shower and get your PJ's on – you've got school tomorrow, so I want you in bed early."

"But Mom," came the pleading whine, "Daddy and I are in the middle of our game."

" 'Berto," she cautioned, with a reprimanding tone to her voice.

"That's okay, buddy," Bobby said. "You listen to your Mom, we can play again tomorrow."

The boy grudgingly got up from the sofa and headed out of the living room, passing by his mother, who gave him a quick peck on the cheek, "That's my good boy."

Roberto turned and reminded Bobby, "Dad, you have to get up early, too – you promised you'd walk me to school."

"Don't worry, 'Berto. Your mom and I will be up early; we have a lot of things to take care of tomorrow," he said with a smile and wink at Maria Elena.

Later in the evening, before turning in himself, Bobby phoned Alex. "Hey, it's me."

"Hi you! How's it going?"

"Great. Did you get a flight?

"Well, I wanted to talk to you about that."

Bobby's heart sank 'Could it be she's not coming?' he questioned himself.

"Actually, Darius is booking our flight. We're flying down together on Friday. I'm, umm, I'm gonna' stay at his parents' house."

Bobby paused for a moment, picking his words carefully, "So, I guess that means your dinner date went okay the other night."

"It did, as a matter of fact. You were right — he's a great guy."

"Did, umm, anything happen after dinner?"

Alex knew what he was trying to get at, but wouldn't give him the satisfaction of a forthright answer. If there was one thing she loved when she was in a playful mood, it was teasing Bobby during one of their verbal "duels." "We went dancing."

"And what happened after that?"

"Dessert."

"You're not gonna' tell me, are ya'?" Bobby sighed. He was glad that the two of them hit it off, but felt a small twinge of —something. It wasn't jealousy — he decided it was just his habit of overprotectiveness towards Alex kicking in.

"So, umm, he's gonna' be my date for the wedding, too."

"So, something did happen," Bobby thought to himself, but only said to her, "Th-th-that's good. Wh-what time are you getting here Friday?"

"I don't know yet – he was trying to get a morning flight out. He might still call me later – or at work tomorrow."

"Hey, Eames?"

"What?"

"Lewis is gonna' be disappointed you're bringin' a date," he teased her.

"I'll save a dance for him," she teased back. "Well, I guess you guys have a busy week in store for ya'. If I don't talk to you during the week, I guess I'll see ya' Friday — we'll call ya' when we get into San Juan."

"The weekend can't get here soon enough," Bobby sighed.

"G'night, Bobby."

"G'night Eames."

xxxxxxxxx

Bobby and 'Berto had left in plenty of time and took a leisurely morning walk to school, talking and still getting to know each other better. Bobby had taken note of the black car that seemed to have slowed down, following them as they walked along. Bobby ushered 'Berto to the inside of the sidewalk, away from the curb and kept a hand on his shoulder. The car eventually sped slightly ahead and pulled over to the curb. A large, black-haired man exited and blocked the sidewalk several feet in front of them. "Are you all right, Roberto?

"Hi Mr. Olivera!" 'Berto exclaimed, as Bobby breathed a sigh of relief. He tugged on his father's hand, "C'mon Dad, it's Mr. Olivera, my Principal."

Bobby approached the man and extended hand. "I'm Robert Goren – 'B-Berto's father."

The Principal hesitated for a moment, trying to read 'Berto's face to make sure everything was all right. The boy's smile was beaming; he certainly wasn't afraid of the large man standing by his side. He returned Bobby's hand shake, "Pedro Olivera, I'm the Principal at Roberto's school. Nice to meet you."

The man still looked skeptical, an almost embarrassed look coming over his face. "I'm sorry, Mr. ..."

"Goren, Robert Goren."

"Mr. Goren. Would it be possible for you to show me some identification?"

Bobby smiled and reached into his pocket, as 'Berto chimed in, "My Dad's a Policeman from New York."

Bobby handed over his credentials for the Principal to inspect. The Principal reached for his cell phone, "Berto, what's your home phone number?" The boy recited it, as Bobby looked on, a bit incredulously.

Back at the house, Rosa Vasquez answered the phone.

"Hello, Mrs. Vasquez? This is Principal Olivera from Roberto's school..." The man went on to explain how he had encountered 'Berto and Mr. Goren and was just making sure that everything was all right. He got his confirmation and ended the call, handing Bobby back his ID.

"I apologize," he sincerely said.

"It-it's all right," Bobby assured.

"It's just that – well, we at the school have gotten accustomed to keeping an extra-special eye on Roberto," the man explained.

'Berto looked up at his father, "In case Uncle Benny or the bad men came for me and mommy," he said.

"I know," Bobby told his son, "but we don't have to worry about that any more."

The Principal looked on quizzically at Bobby's comment but chose, for the moment, not to press for an explanation. He made a mental note to ask Maria Elena about it the next time they met.

"Well, as long as everything is all right, I'll be on my way. I'll see you later at assembly, 'Berto."

The Principal drove off and Bobby and 'Berto continued on their way to the school yard. Bobby was grateful for the good community of people who had been watching over his son, but he was even more grateful that it was now _his_ duty.

xxxxxxxxx

The week was a flurry of activity. On Monday, Bobby and Maria Elena had their blood tests and applied for their marriage license; they purchased a beautiful set of platinum wedding bands at the jewelry store downtown and Bobby got measured for his tux. After stopping for lunch, they met with Isabel to see her ideas about the floral arrangements for the reception and for Maria Elena's bouquet.

On Tuesday, they went shopping in San Juan and Maria Elena selected an evening gown at a small boutique. It was simply elegant; a form-fitting white strapless gown, with hand sewn pearls on the bodice. Her Aunt (who was the co-owner of her salon) promised to do Maria Elena's hair on Sunday morning. They had decided that the front of her hair would be pulled back and to hold it in place, adorned with pearl decorated hair pins to match her dress. At the back of her head, her long, wavy hair would be left to freely cascade down her back.

Wednesday was the low point of the week; an emotionally tiring day, as Benny's body was returned to Puerto Rico for burial in the small cemetery adjacent to their church. There was a grave side prayer service, attended only by Carlos, Rosa and her three sisters, and Maria Elena and Bobby. In fact, Maria Elena's parents had told her that it would be all right if she didn't attend, but she wanted to be there for her mother's sake, if only for support. Bobby felt the same way. He chose to attend, just as a show of emotional support for his mother-in-law. No matter how bad Benny was, no matter how many terrible things he did during his life, he was still Carlos' and Rosa's son.

Carlos was grateful for all the commotion caused by the wedding planning – it kept Rosa distracted from the loss of her son and gave her a happy event to look forward to.

On Thursday, Carlos and Bobby spent a few hours together. They went downtown and talked over lunch, stopped by City Hall to pick up their license, then Bobby wanted to go back to the jewelry store where they had purchased their wedding bands. He had seen a couple of items he wanted to buy: One, a wedding gift for Maria Elena and; two, a gift for Alex, for the countless 'thanks' he felt he owed her for everything over the past five years. He couldn't wait until the next day. Eames would be arriving and he'd finally be able to introduce her to Maria Elena and 'Berto and he'd be attending his first official father/son event.

xxxxxxxx

Bobby took a sip of his iced tea and asked Maria Elena the time.

"It's quarter to two." She knew Bobby was anxious. "Why don't you just call her?" Maria asked, just as Bobby's cell phone starting ringing.

"Hey, you here?"

"Yeah, we got in a few minutes late. We're on our way to Darius' house, then we were gonna' head over to see you."

"Good," he answered enthusiastically. "What time do you think you'll get here? 'Berto gets out of school in an hour."

"Darius says we should be there by then," she assured him. "And umm, obviously, he knows the way," she chuckled. "We'll see ya' in a bit," she said, flipping her phone closed.

Bobby smiled at Maria. "They're gonna' be here by the time 'Berto gets out of school. Y,you're really gonna' like her."

She scooted over closer on the swing, giving him a kiss. "I'm sure I will."

Maria Elena watched Bobby over the next forty-five minutes or so, amused by his impatience. He was pacing on the porch, rubbing his hands through his hair, until they finally spotted the now-familiar sedan driving up to the house. As Sanchez pulled the car into the driveway, Bobby and Maria descended the porch steps, watching as Darius went to the passenger side and opened the car door for Alex. She was already smiling. It was good to see Bobby — even if he had only been gone for a week. And Bobby looked happier and more rested than she had ever seen him.

They kissed each other's cheeks and quickly hugged 'hello.' Bobby then took a step back and returned to Maria Elena's side. "Maria Elena, this is my partner, Alex Eames and, umm, you kinda' already ran into my friend, Darius, Darius Sanchez."

Maria Elena smiled at the two, returning Sanchez' handshake and giving Alex a welcoming hug. "It's so good to meet you. Welcome."

"It's a pleasure meeting you," Alex said, smiling as she gave Maria Elena the once over, concurring with Sanchez' description: she _was_ absolutely beautiful. Nobody but Bobby would've have noticed Eames' expression – she was such a subtle but keen observer. Bobby watched, amused, and finally saw the 'approval' in her eyes.

"So?" Alex asked, sounding almost impatient.

Maria Elena and Darius looked at her, waiting for more.

Only Bobby had understood the one-syllable question. His and Eames' thinking was always in tune. "He'll be here any minute. Maria's parents are picking him up from school," Bobby answered.

"Come," Maria invited, gesturing towards the house, "there's fresh iced tea and cookies on the porch."

They sat and chatted while waiting for 'Berto, Alex taking note of Bobby and Maria's body language – they were sweet together. She had almost forgotten, but finally said, "Maria, I almost forgot, lemme' see your ring." Maria got up with a smile and walked over to Alex's seat, holding out her hand for Alex and Darius to see.

"Wow, that is exquisite," she said, admiring the stone. "Congratulations, again. Wear it in good health."

"Thank you," Maria smiled.

"Yeah, it's beautiful," Darius added, turning his head to watch the Vasquez' car pull into the driveway.

"Here they are," Bobby said, smiling as he watched the back door fly open and 'Berto run up the walk. Bobby had gotten up to meet him and 'Berto charged up the stairs towards him with a hug and kiss hello. He stood between Bobby and Maria Elena, as Maria kissed his head.

"Roberto, this is Aunt Alex."

The boy walked towards Alex's seat and bent over gently, kissing her cheek. "Hi, it's nice to meet you," his little voice said.

"Well, it's nice to meet you, too, Roberto." Alex couldn't stop looking at the boy, thinking to herself, "Geez, Darius told me the resemblance was uncanny, but _this_ is..." 'Berto's little voice interrupted her thought.

"Thank you, ma'am. You look just like my Dad described. You're pretty." A bit of shyness overtook him and he went back to stand between his parents.

Alex smiled.

Darius leaned towards Alex, whispering in her ear, "See? Didn't I tell you — it's freaky."

Carlos and Rosa had joined everyone on the porch and Bobby handled those introductions, as well.

"You're staying for dinner, aren't you?" Rosa asked.

Alex and Darius traded a glance. "We don't wanna' intrude," Alex said.

"Don't be silly! We're all family now," Rosa insisted.

Alex saw Bobby's little nod – he wanted her to say "yes."

"Okay," Alex and Darius said in unison. "Thanks – we'd love to."

Their dinner was casual and filled with conversation. 'Berto was very curious about Alex, never having met a police woman before. He kept her engaged with a dozen questions, which she didn't mind answering; all the while feeling as if she was being interrogated by a "Little Bobby."

After she cleared the dessert dishes, Rosa reminded Bobby of the time.

"Yeah, we'd better get going soon."

"Oh, that's right," Alex said, remembering, "It's your big father/son camp out at school tonight."

"Yes, Aunt Alex. And we're gonna' have a bonfire and toast marshmallows and watch a movie and tell scary stories," Berto answer, full of excitement.

"Well, that sounds like a lot of fun," Darius said.

"Sorry, we have to be leaving," Bobby apologized.

"That's okay, this is a big event for you" Alex said to Bobby. "It was nice to get together for dinner and meet all of you."

"There's a dinner tomorrow night at Maria Elena's uncle's restaurant. It's — you know, a get-together for everybody the night before the wedding," Bobby said, with a smile towards Maria.

"We'll be there!" Sanchez said. "What's the name of the place?"

Maria Elena answered, "It's El Ladrillo, it's downtown, 334 Mendez Vigo, at 8 o'clock."

"I know the place," Sanchez said, "Great steaks."

Bobby shook Darius' hand. "Thanks for comin' man, an,an and thanks for taking care of everything for Alex."

"No problem," he answered, smiling at Alex.

Bobby leaned in to kiss and hug Alex. "Thanks for being here."

"You know I wouldn't miss it," she said, wrapping him in a return hug, patting his back. She whispered in his ear, "She's beautiful and he's adorable – I'm so happy for you."

"Thanks," he said in her ear, planting another little kiss.

They all said their good-byes and Bobby and 'Berto headed off to the school, as Alex and Darius pulled out of the driveway.

"Bobby, wait!" Maria Elena exclaimed, running towards him. She hugged him and whispered, so 'Berto couldn't hear, "I'm gonna' miss you being next to me tonight."

He held her face in his hands and kissed her softly. "I'm gonna' miss you, too."

xxxxxxxx

On Saturday morning, Bobby and 'Berto were back home by 9:00 a.m. Bobby's back was stiff from sleeping in their sleeping bags on the floor. 'Berto dashed into the house, "Mom! Oh, hi grandma, hi grandpa!"

"Hi there! You and your dad have fun?"

"Yeah, it was great!

Carlos gave Bobby a knowing smile, watching as he stiffly lowered himself onto the couch. "The gym floor is real comfortable, huh son?" he laughed.

Bobby smiled and nodded, rubbing his lower back.

Maria walked into the living room, kissing both of her 'boys' hello. She took over rubbing Bobby's back for him, as 'Berto filled them all in on the events of their 'camp out.'

"Can I get you breakfast, my two sweeties?"

"No thanks, Mom," 'Berto said, going to his bedroom to put his things away.

"They had umm, coffee and juice and muffins 'n stuff like that. All the dads were up by 6 o'clock – we couldn't wait to get off the floor," he laughed.

xxxxxxxx

By later in the morning, all of Bobby's friends had arrived in Puerto Rico and settled into their hotels. They used the day for sightseeing and shopping and relaxing by the pools or at the beach, not having to be at the dinner until 8:00 p.m. They were all grateful for their impromptu little "vacation" and took full advantage of the beautiful weather and scenery; especially Jim and Cathy Deakins, who were experiencing a reawakening of their romance and appreciation for each other after the recent ordeal she had survived — thanks to Bobby and Darius.

Everyone met at the restaurant that night and had a wonderful time. Maria's family and Bobby's friends hit it off as if they had known each other for years. Bobby felt a little bad –but just for a second, when Lewis realized that Alex was there with Darius. He played it cool, though, as Lewis always did, and quickly struck up a conversation with one of Maria's cousins, Maribel, whose father owned a service station; the two car buffs had plenty to talk about. Maria Elena's family got a better insight into Bobby and just how well liked and valued he was by his small circle of friends and co-workers and Bobby graciously suffered through their stories and good-natured ribbing as they 'roasted' their groom-to-be/guest of honor.

As the evening was winding down, Darius and Lewis got together and decided they wanted to bring Bobby out for a drink (or two or three) – it was his last night as a "single" man. "C'mon," Lewis said, "Let's round up Deakins and Carver and Morris and whatever guys from Maria's family wanna' come. The club back at my hotel looked great."

"All right, let's do it," Sanchez replied enthusiastically.

They rounded up the group of guys and arranged who was riding with whom. Darius felt a little guilty, at first, at the thought of leaving Alex behind, but she assured him it was all right – that they could go do their "guy thing" – she was gonna' go back to the Vasquez house and hang out with Maria Elena and Darius could pick her later, when he brought Bobby home. Cathy, Debbie and Nancy opted to return to their hotel and hang out by the pool or bar and have their own "ladies night."

The noisy group of men went on their way.

xxxxxxxx

Back at the house, Maria Elena finished tucking in 'Berto. She invited Alex into her bedroom to show her her dress and do some "girl talk." Alex noticed Bobby's items scattered about the room. It didn't bother her – it just seemed funny seeing it there. She thought back to the night she had packed his clothes for him and what a nervous wreck he had been.

"Sorry – it's kinda' messy," Maria apologized.

"That's okay, you should see my place by the end of the week," she laughed. "You must be so excited!"

"I am," she smiled. "It's the day I've been dreaming of – well, it feels like forever."

"Well, my partner sure looks happy — and well rested. _That's_ something I rarely get to see."

"He told me he never got much sleep. You two work some crazy hours though! I'll tell you, I work at the salon from 10 to 6 and when I get home, I feel like I'm ready to drop."

Alex watched as Maria straightened up the room, folding and hanging away some clothes. She stood by the closet, putting Bobby's dark gray Milano Uomo shirt on a hanger. "He wore this one last Friday – when I saw him for the first time – with the little bit of gray he has in his hair now — he looked _so good." _Alex didn't have the heart to tell her that she had picked it out for him to wear.

"Do you want to have a drink? And maybe we can go for a walk on the beach?" Maria asked.

"Sure, sounds great," Alex replied. "I hope all those guys aren't being a bad influence on Bobby – the last thing you need is a groom with a hangover," she joked.

"Oh, I know. Maybe it's a good thing that the ceremony is late in the day. It'll give everybody time to recover, just in case," she laughed.

They went to the fridge and each selected a wine cooler, to bring along on their walk. They walked just a bit, and found a place to sit — the same rocks that Bobby and Carlos had sat on for their talk a week earlier. Of course, Bobby was the main topic of conversation. Alex learned more of the details of Bobby's and Maria Elena's relationship and shared her own stories about Bobby. Maria had plenty of questions for Alex, too; the normal things women talk about: how life was growing up; how she decided to become a cop; marriage, kids, hobbies — that sort of thing. After almost two hours of chatting, they got down off the rocks and started heading back to the house.

"Well, I'm glad we had this chance to talk and get to know each other. Bobby said I would like you – and he was right."

"Aww, that's sweet of you to say."

"I just — well, I really feel that I owe you, too."

Alex looked at her quizzically.

"For taking such good care of him and being such a good friend to him for the past five years. He, umm, he told me about how the people he was partnered with always left. You're the only one who stayed."

"Well, he's a great partner. I don't know what was wrong with those other people — I guess they just couldn't see the wonderful things in him that you and I do."

"I suppose not," Maria sighed. "Well, it's _their_ loss."

They clinked their empty bottles together, "I'll cheer to that," Alex said.

xxxxxxx

Sanchez and Bobby arrived back at the house at 2:45 a.m. Maria Elena and Alex had long ago curled up on the sofa and love seat, tired of waiting for their men to get home. The squeak of the front door roused Alex from her sleep.

"Hey you," she said with a smile and a stretch.

Maria stirred, too, sensing the motion in the room.

Bobby and Darius stood in the doorway of the living room, arms slung over each other's shoulders.

Alex turned to Maria, "Well, at least they're still standing," she said sarcastically.

"Are you all right, baby?" Maria asked.

"I, I'm fine – just a little buzzed."

Sanchez laughed, trying to keep his voice down, "I think seven drinks gets ya' a little more than buzzed, my friend."

"What, you were _counting_?" Bobby asked indignantly. Darius shook his head, still laughing.

"Eames, what does that remind you of?"

"I know, Bobby, I know. He's lying."

"See?" Bobby said, smirking at Sanchez. My partner knows you're lying!" he said with a self-satisfied grin.

"Right Alex? Remember that case? 'Seven vodka gimlets'... Sanchez just couldn't say I had _a lot_ of drinks," Bobby slurred. "He's lyin' just like that girl was... she thought she could fool us..."

"I think it's time for you to go to bed, my friend," Sanchez laughed.

Bobby turned towards Darius, grabbing him into a hug, patting his back, "Thanks man."

"You're welcome. Go get some sleep and sober up, buddy – you've got a big day tomorrow."

"I've got the best day tomorrow," he said, smiling at Maria Elena. She approached his side, letting him lean on her for the walk down the hall."

"G'night," she whispered back down the hall. I'll come back and lock up after you. You gonna' be all right getting home?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," Darius answered, while Eames looked on, double-checking his eyes. "I switched to soda a couple of hours ago — you should've seen Deakins and Carver though!" he said with a laugh.

"Thanks for everything, Maria, g'night," Alex said.

xxxxxxxx

It was Sunday morning. Bobby didn't feel as bad as Maria Elena thought he would. They had to be up early for Mass and she actually felt bad for having to wake him, but she thought it would be awkward not to show up for church, then expect Father Perez to perform their wedding ceremony later in the day. When they get back from Mass, they had a light breakfast and Maria Elena's Aunt arrived soon after, to style her hair.

Rosa was busy getting hers and Carlos' clothes ready and helping out with 'Berto, too, so Maria could concentrate on herself. Then, Bobby remembered his gift for Alex. He wanted her to have it before the ceremony.

"Maria, can I borrow your car?"

"Of course, baby. Where are you going?"

"Over to Sanchez' house. I have to see Alex. I, umm, I got her a gift I wanted to give her before tonight."

"Go ahead, honey. The keys are right on top, in my pocketbook."

"I won't be too long, okay?" he said, giving her a kiss goodbye.

Bobby reached the Sanchez house. Alex and Darius' family were still seated around the dining room table, just having finished their brunch. He rang the bell.

"Hey! I didn't expect to see you up so early," Sanchez teased him.

"I've been up – we had to go to church at 9 o'clock."

"I guess you're too nervous to sleep, anyway, huh?"

"No, n-not nervous – anxious. I wish it was six o'clock already," Bobby answered, fidgeting with his hands, as always.

They now stood by the doorway to the dining room and Bobby said 'hello' to everyone. He hesitated a moment and asked, "Umm, do you mind if I steal Alex from you for a few minutes?"

Alex looked up, curiously, and got up from the table. "Excuse me," she said to the family, walking towards Bobby with her typical raised eyebrow look tht silently asked "what's up?"

They went outside and sat on the porch. He retrieved the gift case from his jacket, pausing before handing it to her. "I wanted to give you to you, be-before to-tonight."

She looked at him with a look that said, "You didn't have to do that," but he held her comment to herself; she could tell he wasn't done saying everything he had to say.

He turned towards her, lightly resting his fingers on the back of her hand. "I wish there was some better way I could — tell you — thank you for always being there for me."

Her eyes started tearing up.

"...for putting up with me an,an,an and not leaving... and for being my best friend." He leaned over and kissed her cheek as he handed her the box. She looked up at his face, then down at the box.

"Op-open it," he nodded.

She looked down and with a nervous little laugh, opened the lid to reveal a diamond necklace. It was actually a "Y" necklace; white gold, with three diamonds, graduated in size, with a large teardrop shaped stone at the bottom that was well over a carat. It was the perfect enhancement for the decolletage of her gown for later that evening.

"Oh my God, Bobby! It's magnificent — oh, Bobby, I can't let you buy me something this expensive."

He gave her his usual look of disagreement: pursed lips and furrowed brow. "Do you like it?"

"I love it! It's beautiful!" she exclaimed, with a smile now taking over the look of disbelief.

" I want to see it on you tonight."

"But Bobby," she persisted. This must have cost you a fortune..."

"And you're worth every penny," he interrupted. "Don-don't ever forget that."

She leaned over, giving him a huge hug, kissing his cheek.

"I really don't know what to say," she shook her head. "Thank you, so much."

"You're more than welcome."

"Here, help me try it on now," she said. She removed the necklace from its box and handed it to Bobby, turning away f rom him so he could place it around her neck and do the clasp. She turned back around and 'modeled' it for him with a huge smile on her face.

"It's almost as beautiful as you," he said to her. There was no teasing in his voice; he was serious.

She smiled at him and rolled her eyes, non-verbally saying "yeah, right."

"I know that sounds like a cliche, but I mean it an-and you're even more beautiful on the inside –where it's most important."

"I really don't know what to say, Bobby — you've finally succeeded in leaving me speechless."

They hugged again, and she whispered another 'thank you.'

"I guess I'd better get going." She nodded as they ended their embrace, wiping the tears from her eyes.

As he headed down the stairs, he turned back, "Did Sanchez say anything to you about last night?"

"Like what?"

"I umm, I told him that if he ever hurt you I'd kill him."

Alex laughed, attributing the comment to Bobby's drunken state the night before. "No, he didn't mention it – but I wouldn't worry about it, he's not gonna' hold something like that against you –he knows it was just the liquor talking."

"Oh, no," Bobby shook his head. "I told him that _before_ we even started drinking...on the drive over to the club."

Later That Day

Bobby had taken a short nap, just so he'd feel more refreshed for the night ahead. Maria Elena had taken a shower, just to freshen up before the ceremony, taking great care not to get her hair wet. Bobby had yet to shave and shower – they had to hurry – the photographer would be there soon. As Maria Elena entered the bedroom, she saw a card and a black velvet jewel case on the bed. She looked at Bobby and smiled, "What did you go and do?" He just smiled and watched as she sat on the edge of the bed and took the envelope. The outside read: "To My Beautiful Bride, On Our Wedding Day." She sat quietly, reading Bobby's heartfelt message. Looking up at him with happy tears welling up in her eyes, she teased, "You're not supposed to make me cry, you'll ruin my mascara."

"Sorry," he said and nodded towards the box. "Open it."

For Maria Elena, he had selected a pearl and diamond necklace, with matching drop earrings and a bracelet. He knew that they would look exquisite with her gown and on her.

"Oh, Bobby! They're beautiful."

She got up and walked towards him, hugging and kissing him.

"You are gonna' be the most beautiful bride in the world."

"I don't know about that, but I'm _sure_ I'm the happiest," she said, her smile beaming. She hugged and kissed him again. "Thank you, Baby; and thank you for the beautiful card — what you wrote – it just took my breath away."

"I ju-just wanted to write how I, how I feel about you. I never want you to doubt any of it, or ever forget it."

"I never could," she promised. "Come here," she said, tugging him closer. She kissed him passionately and when their lips parted, she held his soft, whiskered cheeks between her hands, her smiling eyes looking into his. "I love you, Robert Goren. I always have. I always _will._ You're my one and only."

xxxxxxxx

It had been a beautiful ceremony. Bobby looked absolutely handsome and dashing in his tux and the happiness on his face was almost indescribable. Maria Elena was positively radiant; truly the most beautiful bride all of the family and guests had ever seen and little 'Berto was a handsome, perfect little gentleman. Rosa and Carlos had never seen him look so happy.

Maria Elena's aunt and uncle had done a fabulous job with the food and organizing the reception. They had erected several large white canopies, decorated with yards and yards of tulle and thousands of tiny white lights. One area was for the food, one for the DJ and dancing, and one for dining. The flowers and candles were perfect, giving a romantic, intimate feel to every table. They had put down a temporary/portable hardwood floors in each, so the guests didn't end up full of sand. The surrounding natural beauty of the beach and the rhythmic sound of the waves hitting the shore made a perfect backdrop to the affair.

Everyone watched happily, with some applause, as Bobby and Maria Elena Goren shared their first dance as husband and wife. They had chosen a song that had special memories and meaning to them. In fact, it was _so_ special and personal to them that they wanted to keep it that way —_'their own private love song' _so they gave the DJ the instrumental version to play and they sang along as they danced, whispering the words in the other's ear. It was a haunting, romantic tune that, truthfully, probably none of the guests recognized, but they appreciated the beauty of the music, nonetheless. Then, as the first song ended and the DJ segued into Bobby's next selection, (A One In A Million You, by Larry Graham), the guests joined them on the dance floor and began their own nights of romance.

All of the guests ate and talked and laughed and truly celebrated the happy event. Couples danced, trading partners, all making sure they had at least one dance with the Bride or Groom.

Bobby had finished another flute of champagne while he and Maria made the rounds to each table, thanking every guest for coming. He was talking with Uncle Julio, when the notes of another familiar song caught his ear.

"Ex-excuse me," he said, scouring the crowd to find Eames. He spotted her, dancing with Lewis.

"Aww, hell..." He walked over and tapped Lewis on the shoulder. Lewis turned and shot Bobby a look like, "Are you kidding me?"

"I'm sorry to do it to ya' Bud, but _this one_ is mine."

Alex looked at Lewis, putting on a pout of regret. He knew she didn't mean it.

Bobby took Alex's hand and put the other on her back. He leaned in closer, holding his cheek against her hair as they swayed to the music.

"_I'll stand by you, won't let nobody hurt you, I'll stand by you..."_

"It's been a beautiful night," she told him.

"Mmmm"

"_Nothing you confess, could make me love you less, I'll stand by you..."_

"What about your honeymoon?"

"We're thinking of going to Italy next spring. So, how do you think you're gonna' do without me?" he asked.

"I don't know. You did without me when I was out on maternity leave," she reminded him.

"Yeah," he leaned in closing, pressing against her hair "We saw how well _that_ worked out."

"_I'll stand by you, won't let nobody hurt you, I'll stand by you..."_

"Well, I guess you'll be fine. An-and you have Sanchez now to look after you..."

"Bobby, it's only for four or five weeks. Sure, I'm gonna' miss ya', but — it'll go fast, just wait and see."

"Maybe it'll be quicker. Maria just has to wrap up some things with the salon and we have to take care of the paperwork for 'Berto's name change. We plan on being back in New York a few days before Thanksgiving."

Everyone but Bobby and Alex had noticed that the music had stopped. They heard some laughter in the background and found themselves a bit embarrassed, blushing at being caught at being so preoccupied with each other.

"I'm gonna' see you before you and Sanchez fly back, right?"

"Yup, we're here 'til Tuesday afternoon."

They kissed each other's cheeks and parted.

xxxxxxx

The following day while straightening up the bedroom, Maria Elena came across a small bag from a boutique she knew downtown. She peeked in, thinking she had forgotten about one of her purchases. She was removing the item, when Bobby walked in the room.

"Hey, Mrs. Goren, you're not supposed to be peeking in there."

"Oh, I'm sorry, baby. I thought it was a bag I forgot about."

"No, that's my bag – from when I went shopping the other day with Dad."

"Well can I see what's in it?"

"Uh-uh," he shook his head 'no'."

She gave him a pout. "But now you've got me all curious."

"Okay, go ahead. I wasn't gonna' give it to you until we got back to New York."

She removed the item. It was a gold chain, with a small heart-shaped glass vial attached. It had a screw-on top in the shape of a little heart. She held it up, dangling in front of her, admiring it.

"It's filled with sand from the beach — so, so you'll always have a little piece of "home" with you after we move."

"Awww, Bobby, that is so sweet for you to think of."

"Well, I just thought it might make you feel better. I know you're gonna' miss this place. It's a big sacrifice you're making for me. And I appreciate it."

She gave him a thank you kiss. "I love it – it's so sweet of you, really," she said with a smile.

She put it on and went to the living room to show her parents.

What Bobby hadn't told her was that the sand in the vial was more sentimental to _him_. He had scooped it up and saved it, taking it from the beach where they had stood the day before and took their wedding vows; from the beach where they had shared their first dance as husband and wife; the same beach where, approximately one week ago, they had renewed and consummated their love under a velvet, starlit sky, amidst the crashing waves. And, as yet unbeknownst to Bobby and Maria Elena, the spot where Alexandra Rose Goren, who would become Daddy's little girl, was conceived.

THE END.

Their Wedding Song: "Old Souls" written by Paul Williams.


End file.
